The Northern Territory is experiencing a plague of randy, short - sighted male emus. Dateless , desperate and myopic, the fleet –footed birds mistakenly see men in suits as desirable members of the opposite feathery sex. As a result, the blurred vision of a man in a suit makes your average red - blooded emu feel twitipated.
This has caused a major problem for the Country Liberal Party whose members get about in zoot suits, even when taking a bath. Little Darwin understands a CLP member with a tattoo of Ossie Ostrich, star of Hey,Hey It’s Saturday !, on his clavicle was chased down Smith Street by an amorous emu. Unfortunately, the near sighted critter , making loud mating calls, was run down by a bus filled by a party of nuns from the Vatican , gold medal winners in tag wrestling at the Arafura Games, who kindly took turns to apply mouth to mouth , making the poor bird feel he was in emu heaven before he had his last kiss. In a positive ending to his sad, celibate life, the emu was plucked , his skin turned into a high fashion garment decorated with barramundi scales and sold as a genuine made in China souvenir of the NT.
And police have urged the CLP to wear g-strings, kaftans or mini-skirts to prevent further traffic accidents . If CLP members insist in wandering at large in a seductive suit, they should carry a shotgun for protection.
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