UNEXPURGATED , ILLUSTRATED BROADSIDE AUTOPSY

Demise   set   back  Australian  media ,  freedom  of  expression,  democracy  

 

As promised , the  autographed  last edition  of  the  brave  l969 magazine , Broadside , edited by  Pete Steedman , arrived   inside   an official   envelope  bearing his  title  from the time   when  he was the ALP Member for  Casey , Victoria ,  in  the   l983  Hawke Government . It  was  either  a challenge to  the Guinness  Book  of  Records for the slowest   delivery of  the  Royal Mail   or  else   Steedman   is  a   hoarder , a  recycler , we   summise  the  latter .   

Broadside was  pulled and pulped by David Syme and Company  Limited, publishers of  The Age,  Melbourne , supposedly because of  an anti Vietnam War  drawing   which  showed  a  naked  man with a  25 pounder  field gun  as  his  genitalia, even  using  it to slope arms,   near  an  article  dealing  with  the  nation's defence .

It was also deemed on  high , the  Melbourne Club included   ?,   the  issue promoted   ALP  rising  star   Gough  Whitlam , an  election looming .   While Whitlam and the Australian Labor Party  received considerable coverage in  Broadside  , a  two-page Leunig  cartoon portrayed  Gough in more  positions  than  the Karma Sutra   in  a boxing match  with  Prime Minister  John  Gorton , unable to land a blow  on the PM  ,  the  bout ending  when Jolly John  kicked  him  in  the  groin,  possibly the Caucus  as well.

Ouch!

In no way could  this  be  seen  as  promoting Whitlam . On page 13 there was  disturbing  news that  Fabula needed help .  She , of course , was the  curvaceous , whip wielding,  very close   personal  assistant  to  the  leader of  a  great Southern Continent  , the comic  strip said to be a  thinly veiled   reflection of Australian politics  .  Due to  circumstances  beyond the control of Broadside, it  said Gerald Carr , who drew the "out- of- control"  strip,  was   departing . It was the old story ,  make them a star and they leave you . Broadside urgently needed  an  illustrator  to continue Fabula  in her present   form .  Cartoonists of the world were urged  to unite, they had  nothing  to  make  but  money . It has been pointed out  by a sharp eyed  individual   that  the  book end  figurine  above the PM writing  his  memoirs  in the Fabula  strip below  has  an uncanny resemblance  to former  Australian  PM   Sir Robert Menzies  in  his  clobber  as  Lord Warden   of   the  Cinque Ports .

 

However the  whips  were wielded in The Age corridors of power ,  Steedman  was  lashed , departed  and  patriotic  Fabula   never  got  another  chance to  come  to the  aid  of  the  PM  and  the  nation . 

 

The  back cover of  the   last edition of the  fortnightly Broadside   was a  full page advertisement  for   another doomed  David Syme   venture  Newsday , contributors included   Dame  Zara  Bate ,formerly married to  PM Harold Holt , Bill Peach , Johnny Young  of the Top 30 ,  Michael Leunig , John O'Grady ( author of They're a Weird Mob) , Lindy Hobbs   of  the  young  pop scene , fashion writer   Pat Von Wolff.

Newsday had been planned  as a  Sunday, but because  print unions would not work on Saturdays  and newsagents  did not open on the  sabbath, it was launched as  a daily afternoon paper on  September 30, l969 , up  against the  long established Melbourne Herald.

 

It ran into circulation problems  and after extensive marketing  closed  in May 1970, putting  67 journalists out of work , including  Cameron Forbes, Lindy Hobbs, Jack Darmoudy , Phil Cornford, Bruce Wilson, Piers Ackerman and , Mike  Sheahan.  A few weeks after Newsday  was  closed,  David  Syme's launched   the  Sunday  Observer .

 

Using  colourful,  non-medical  terms, Pete Steedman  recently  explained   factors which led to the  death  of  both  Broadside  and Newsday .  In  the case of Broadside, he had  wanted it to be a  broadsheet newspaper, Broadside and  broadsheet  going  together in  his mind  . Instead , it had been decided by others  that  it  be in the small magazine  format . As  explained earlier in this blog , he ran the  show on the smell of  an oilrag , failed to receive the promised  company advertising support ,  and  he  almost  plaited  Fabula's whip, as well  as  writing the script for  her  well  read  frolics . 

  

In the case of  ill fated Newsday venture, he had warned  David Syme's managing director , Ranald  Macdonald , about the  problem of  Sunday  sales  outlets.   Losses  in the failed ventures had enabled the Sydney  Fairfax newspaper organisation,  with  a  small  shareholding in the company , to eventually  take over The Age .

UPCOMING: Reading the  Broadside entrails and  Bob  Dylan's  nasty experience  in  Melbourne .

NORTHERN AIRLINE AUCTION

Bids for  the  Darwin based  airline    Airnorth, owned  by the US   Bristow Group  , are  being  considered this   week . With     regular flights to  Townsville , Toowoomba , Melbourne  and  WA ,   the  airline's  future   is     a matter   of  importance,  but  has received little media coverage in Townsville.  Bristow, based in  Houston, Texas, filed  for chapter ll bankruptcy in May .
 

It has been suggested that  the Cobham Group , third  largest  aviation  business  in the UK , could  be interested .  A  second round   of    bids  will  follow .

A GOLDMINE OF NORTHERN TERRITORY INFORMATION

Unearthed in the  Darwin  garage of  the  late Vern  O'Brien , a walking encyclopedia on anything to do with the Northern Territory, were boxed     research  files  on a wide  range of subjects  such  as  Harold Bell Lasseter  and his supposed lost gold reef  ,  letters  from overseas   relating to the  naming of  the  Olgas  in  Central  Australia  and  other parts of the Territory.

 

The trove  was  found  by Vern 's near blind    91 year old   widow, Jacqui, who handed them over to the  Northern Territory  Genealogical  Society , where  Vern spent so much time  in latter  years   and  which  now contains so  much of  his  vast  library  and   research  material .

 

This blog was given the privilege  of  examining the   contents   of  the find , some of  the  Lasseter  content   displayed  here.  

 We have taken the liberty of inserting  from our own files   the following photograph of     author   Xavier Herbert ,who wrote  Capricornia and Poor Fellow  My Country , at the  Lasseter   grave   in Alice Springs . 

 

Vern O'Brien, born Brisbane  on December  24,  l925, spent two years at Queensland University studying medicine , his father wanting him to become a doctor , before  war  intervened and  he joined the RAAF as a  leading aircraftsman , trained  in the use of radar  in New Guinea . Instead of becoming    a dentist , suggested by  his father, Vern became a  cadet surveyor in  the Department of the Interior  in Darwin  ,"exiled to Alice Springs " , where he surveyed   pastoral properties.

 

Over the years he held many positions  such as  the Surveyor General , the head of  Place Names  of  the  Northern Territory , Director of  Lands  , first Secretary of  Mines  and Energy.

 

A founding member of the NT Historical  Society and  a member of the   Royal Historical Society of  Queensland , he  was  a past member of the   editorial committee  of the Northern Territory  Dictionary of  Biography . He died on  June 13, 2017 .     

THE IRISH DIASPORA

A collection of  Irish journals built up   in  North Queensland  for  family research  has  come our  way. It  has    resulted in  bursts of rapid  reading,  in the process  turning  up  interesting  content   related  to  Australia,  New Zealand , America, South Africa  , England . The  above  image , displaying part of an  l886 map of the  British Empire  , is on  the front cover of  one  2015   volume ; the back cover ,  the  other part of the  map, below , the overhead  motto   FREEDOM   FRATERNITY   FEDERATION  .     

 When you read  about the  appalling   treatment of  the Irish by the English  ;  the  horrendous   potato  famine  deaths and  dispersal of   so many overseas ; shipwrecks with colossal  loss of life on voyages to  Australia , Africa ,Quebec and Australia in search of a better life ; being  treated like slaves  in the Pennsylvania coalmines;"The Troubles ",   it  is   hard  to believe that  any  Irish eyes  ever  had  cause  to  be  smiling .  

The  derogatory description of  desperate  Irish immigrants in  England  is  similar  to   terms   heaped  on   boat  people   in  Australia  and   Europe .  

Dealing  with  convicts in Australia , an article  explained how  Governor Lachlan Macquarie   of  the New South Wales   colony  had become unpopular due to his   enlightened  attitude  to  the  Irish .  

 

Other items of interest :

• An  article about  Australian Irish  Anzacs in WWl, with a wealth of information - the demographics , state enlistment  statistics and  the influence of   Catholic  Bishop Mannix  on   conscription .
• Prime Minister  Paul Keating  receiving  a  copy of   The Orhan Girls Educational  Kit .
• Patrick O'Farrell's Letters  from  Irish Australia   1825-1929. 

Astronaut Colonel James B. Irwin, who used the lunar rover in the Apollo 15   August  1971  mission , said to  have been the  only man who quoted scripture on  the  Moon  (Psalm l2l:l ), traced his  ancestry back to  County Tyrone .

 

 

John Duffy and Sons truly  gigantic  and wonderful   circus  which included  Wild West content , changed to  Wild Australia in 1927 ;  a New Zealand magician , the Great Benyon (Edgar Benyon  1901-l978)  got  involved with  the  very colourful circus outfit , which  had  family bust ups  along  the  way and  a vast herd  of  horses .

 

Between 1848 and 1870 more than 44,000 Irish men, women and children arrived in  NSW under  various assisted  immigration schemes  run by the  Land and Emigration  Commissions in London   funded  by colonial governments.

DREADNOUGHT REPORTER UNEXPECTEDLY DROPS IN

More evidence   that  my  files  are  in   disarray  surfaced  when  out of a  Spring  1982      Art and Text   magazine ,  a  glum  looking  photograph  of  Prime Minister  Malcolm  Fraser  on  the cover ,   slipped    the  obituary  for  the  retired Anglican  Archbishop   of Papua New Guinea ,   The Most Reverend  David Hand.    It  had  been  written by  and  emailed  to  me  in  2006   by the Sydney Morning Herald   Religious Affairs  Reporter , Alan Gill . 

"Reverend" Alan Gill

By Peter Simon

 

I had met Alan  at the  Herald  soon after he arrived from England  in  l971  . My wife and I  called on Alan and  his wife, Daisy , who  had  been born in Egypt  ,her parents forced out  after the Suez Canal crisis .     Softly spoken , with a  slight  stammer , Alan   was   deeply  interested  in  the fact that   I  had worked in  Darwin  with the  British born  crusading editor  of   the  Northern  Territory News, Jim  Bowditch , and  had   been to  Port  Moresby  , Papua  New  Guinea , in  l962.

 

Alan ,    on  his  mother's side  related to   Archbishop  of     Canterbury William Luxtor   who   administered  the  last rites to Charles l , told  me   of  an encounter he had while  attending a  church conference in PNG.  In   true  British explorer  fashion , he  had  walked along   a  beach early  one morning in  shirt , shorts and sandals (sox?)   and   met  a friendly  topless  local  girl  in  a grass  skirt .  He had  politely introduced himself  and  asked  her  for   her  name .   She  had  responded by  lifting  a  breast,  revealing   a   tattooed name.  Then  she  told Alan  she  had  a   boyfriend , his  name   revealed  under   the   other  breast .

In the emailed obituary , Alan   told me  I would  find  a few interesting  PNG stories  .  The  intro  read  :

The  Queen gave him a knighthood ; the post-independence  government made him "Grand Chief", and  the village headmen offered him trophies  and also  their daughters  in marriage (to which he politely replied  he couldn't afford the bride  price).  

Hand,  Gill wrote, was  the very model for one of  poet  John Betjelman's "extreme colonial bishops". A  celibate  Anglo- Catholic  missionary priest,  he   had spent  60 of his 87 years  in PNG , employing   lay expatriates "almost as colourful as himself". One was  missionary filmmaker and  photographer , Lily Best , known as "Tiger Lil ",whose quirks  included  travelling   with a  chamber pot , her developing  tank, tied  to  her  waist .  

The bishop used media exposure to gain staff  and money for   his struggling  diocese . He  employed  a  publicity officer,  Susan Young,  who smoked cheroots and   flew a plane .When she returned to  England ,  he sought  Alan's help  for a story which  appeared in the   UK  Press Gazette  headed  " Vacancy-Worst paid job in Journalism "...$25 a month .

A young Englishman , Rowan Callick  , "took the bait " and became a Walkley Award   winner and  Australian  Journalist  of  the Year .

 

Alan  recalled    conducting   an   interview  of   Bishop David   in PNG  in devilishly  hot conditions .  The  bishop  leaned  across  and  told him  the secret of  life in the tropics was   Johnson's Baby Powder, lots  of  it .   David Hand  had   been  born in Queensland, his father  Canon William  Hand , born in  Yorkshire , was rector  at  Clermont  , Queensland . 

Before coming to Australia,  Alan  made amateur  films , hoping to become a  professional filmmaker  , wrote for  the  Amateur Cine magazine  and   became a  newspaper  reporter .

  

In l997 Alan Gill had  published  Orphans of the Empire ,    described as being about stolen white children , a lost tribe , sent to Australia with dreams of  a better life but who , in reality , often suffered cruelty and abuse ;   followed in  2004  by  Interrupted Journeys, Refugees from Hitler's  Reich  and   the following year ,    Likely Lads and  Lasses , Youth Migration   to  Australia  1911-1939 , which included  stories about  some of  the  hundreds of  teenagers  who  had  come to Australia   from England  under the Dreadnought Scheme    to  work on  farms and   play a part  in  the  development of  the  country . 

Gill became a member of the Dreadnought Association, which  has its own  blog , above , and  attended  its  centenary  celebration . He died last year, aged  80 ; he  had   won   a   Walkley Award   for  journalism  and was the recipient of  the Order of  Australia for  his  contribution  to  the  media .  

FISH AND DEEP FRIED WOODCHIPS

Fishermen on the jetty at  Picnic Bay, Magnetic Island , bait up while mainland burns , smoke  being blown towards Townsville by  a strong wind which created  good  conditions  for  sailing  but   bumpy  for  ferries .

ANOTHER EAGLE LANDS

At times , reminders of  your  mortality  come  in  a  torrent  .  Recently ,  the   Grim Reaper  seemed  everywhere , like Chicken Man .  And  this old blogger , on  new medication , has been   reminiscing  about  cobbers who  have  fallen  off   their   perch   in   the  media  and elsewhere .

My wife, who regularly checks death notices  in Australia and New Zealand,only  the other  day  asked  me to   guess who had died , causing  me to twitch and ponder .  A  number of  people   came  to  mind , but not  the one she  revealed - a friendly  Adelaide   antique dealer . From him   we  once   bought  a  small ,  unusual table  , with  four turned  legs,  an   eagle's  claw  clutching a glass ball at the  foot of each.  While  dismantling  it to move  up north  , out  fell part of a  1920s  English newspaper  which had been  used  as wadding   inside  a  claw .  In the Semaphore  shop  at the time was  an  attractive,   large   French dresser , just  too  big  to lug about should one move .    

TALENTED ACTOR ON THE NOSE

Winner of  the  impromptu impersonation section  at the North Australian Rock   Eisteddfod  on Magnetic  Island  was  this   aspiring  actor   who  posed as  a  whistling  shag  on a  rock . Judges  were so impressed  by  his performance they  tipped  he could  be  the  next Mel  Gibson  and  play a hopping mad Highlander in Braveheart ll . A  disgruntled  competitor  said  the  wallaby  only won because he has  body odour, is disparagingly  called B.O. Plenty ,  and is shunned  by  the rest of the wallaby  colony , so  that he  looks  like  a  silly  goose  on  a rock  24/7.

FLOATING MEDICAL CENTRE ?

Another  yucky  semaphore  from  Shipping  Reporter  

 

Our  waterfront  roundsman  says he has given up  trying to fathom out  what  transpires  in and around the neglected   Victory in  the  Pacific  Fountain  in Townsville's CBD  at night   after   his  latest  inspection of  the  area .   The   fountain  appeared to be   leaking  more  than  usual   and   nearby  was   a  blue   plastic  glove  .

The reporter  says   after   having   in the past   found  a condom , which sunbaked    for weeks   near the fountain ,   and   a  large  band  aid   on  the  brickwork ,  he  wonders  what  medical items  he will next  find  in an  area  known  as  the  Railway  Oval . 

Graffiti visible above in the nearby bus shelter along with an empty beercan on the seat , fag  ends and other rubbish underneath . A bandage   found  there  in the past .  Footwear  found in  the   fountain in the  past has  caused the Shipping  Reporter to wildly speculate  that  a refugee  barefoot  Chinese   doctor   from  yesteryear   operates in  the grotty  precinct  after  sunset, like Sky  after dark television  shows .

COUNTERCULTURE BLINDSPOTS

While Radio National  produced some  interesting   interviews  in  its  counterculture flashback series, there  were  some  obvious  Australians   who  should have  been   consulted   but  , inexplicably ,  were  not. One  was surely   Pete Steedman  , of  Melbourne , a prominent   figure in  the student press   in Australia   in  the l960s , influential   in  activist  groups  in  London  in  the  l970s . Steedman , dubbed the Black Knight ,  and other key players in  the  counterculture scene   were  mentioned in   the  2017 book  Dissent The Student Press in 1960s Australia, by Dr  Sally Percival Wood .  

"Seditious" Pete  Steedman, counterculture warrior , motorbike and fancy car  enthusiast.



Expecting  a  visit from some heavies one night  in Melbourne ,Steedman  nearly  did violence to  one of the great  counterculture  figures of the  1960s - American   protest singer  Bob Dylan - recorded  in  the  Dylan archives. 

 

After listening to  some of  the  Radio National  counterculture  interviews , Little Darwin  asked  Steedman , subject of  much  coverage  in  this blog ,  if   he had been  asked  to  contribute . No . 
 

Pete  said  a  very  influential   person in the Australian counterculture scene, seemingly  also  not  approached,   had   been  his friend   Phillip Frazer, involved in the Melbourne university  action of  the l960s , who played a   large part in   innovative publications   such  as  Go-Set ,  Revolution  , The  Digger   and    the  Australian   Rolling  Stone  .  

 

Following the  recent  uproar over   the  Australian  Federal Police  raiding  the  media in  Australia ,  Steedman  fired off  an  email to the   Murdoch Herald Sun on the subject , which  got  a  run five weeks later .  A  copy was  provided for  Little Darwin  . It  reads  :-

 

The current debate  relating  to Press freedom , while seemingly a  surprise to the  mainstream media, is no surprise to those of us who have been watching  the slow erosion of liberties  over the last couple of decades as  our governments move us  down the path to the totalitarian Right, deja vu  the l930s.

 

With a new mega department  taking over the duties of security agencies , as well as immigration  and border security , the government  has created a  large bureaucracy with competing  aims and objectives  and a Minister  who seems impervious  to the concerns   for empathy, compassion  and has no understanding  of the separation of powers or our obligations as signatories  to dozens of  UN conventions.

 

But it has always been  so. Few will remember   the censorship during  WWl and the news blackout of the bombing of Darwin in WW2, not to mention  the outrageous lies  from Vietnam  and our following endeavours in places such as  Iraq and Afghanistan. 

 

In 1967, I was editing  the University of Melbourne  student  newspaper, Farrago . I had commissioned   a Northern Territory Patrol Officer   to do a  three   part  series on the plight of  Aboriginal communities  in the Outback,  with specific   reference to the generations  of  children who were being destroyed by government policies and a racist / exploitive  cattle  industry.

  

On arriving at the printers for the bedding  down  of the paper featuring  the second  part of the Territory  series , I was  confronted  by officers  of the Federal Police who served me with  a  D Notice .

 

A D(for Defence ) Notice was a  communication  issued to  the media  by the Defence  , Press  and Broadcasting  Committee. It outlines  subjects which bear upon defence or national security -in other words , they have the right to censor  and remove articles  that  are   a  threat to  national  security .

 

If you can tell me , 52 years later , how  exposing  the condition  of Aboriginal  kids  living in our prosperous country was  a threat to national security  then you  win the  steak  knives .

  

 It was not uncommon  for the  government of the day to use a variety of police forces to threaten  and stand over elements of the Press and public  the government  didn't  agree with .    

 

 The Special Branch ( since disbanded) indulged in thuggery and often (with other services ) acted as agents provocateur , turning  peaceful protests into street battles .
 

The government also used the Vice Squad  to decide unilaterally an article or words were obscene  and while student editors may have been short of cash , the authorities   made it clear they would be charging  the printers and , if  necessary, close  them down.

 

It was intimidation  and  thuggery , but it was  the  business of  the day . When the 30 year Cabinet  documents  were  released in l998, I was surprised to see  that the government of  l968 had considered changing the law  to charge me  with sedition , a hanging offence. Wiser  minds prevailed , but it showed the extent  the government  would go to shut  down any criticism  of   its   political agenda, especially that  involving  the  Vietnam  War.
 

A free press, distorted as it often  is by media  magnates , is vital to a healthy democracy. Some of our politicians  should reread  the history of the l930s and reconsider their positions .

UPCOMING : The  last  l969  edition  of  Steedman's   Broadside in which Fabula sadly  used her   whip    for   the  last time on  politicians , with an overview of the magazine  which   includes   hairy  Gerard  Henderson  , Michelle   Grattan   and many   others .  

NIGHTMARE ON TROOPSHIP

Details of an outbreak of  deadly  Spanish Flu  aboard  the Australian troopship  HMAT Boonah in 1918  are  revealed in the latest  edition of  Progenitor , journal of  the  Genealogical Society of the Northern Territory (GSNT).

 

With more than 900 soldiers aboard  , the ship left Adelaide  on October  22   bound   for  the  war ; on arriving  at Durban , South Africa,  word came through of  the  Armistice , so arrangements were made for  the ship  to  return  home .

 

While tied up in Durban , stevedores , some  unknowingly  infected with Spanish Flu ,    loaded  supplies  and  slept aboard the  ship .   Five days  on  the return voyage  , during rough seas   and cold weather , the troops in close confinement , flu symptoms   began to appear . 

 

The first casualty was  Sergeant   Arthur Charles  Thwaites  who jumped overboard  on the night of  December 9 , a  Court of Enquiry  found that he committed suicide  most  likely  as a result of  being  delirious  from  the flu .

 

When the ship arrived in Fremantle  on  December  12,  more than 300 cases had been reported  , authorities refused  permission  for   the soldiers  to disembark  because of  the  fear  about the raging   global  pandemic , not then  evident in WA .

 

Eventually   nearly 300  sick men  were  taken to the  quarantine station  at Woodman Point  , south of Fremantle .  There were three deaths  the  first day at the station . The  situation continued to deteriorate  with  more deaths  and more than  20 nursing and medical  staff  becoming   infected.  By December  20, there were more than  600  soldiers  at  the  station .

 

The magazine account   says  conditions    for  those still aboard the  ship were   believed to be deplorable . Public outrage   grew against   refusal  of the immigration  authorities  to bring all  troops  ashore  , the   ship  described  as   a "  disease stricken   cubby-hole  of a  floating   hell. " There  were   threats  to storm  the  ship  and bring the    sick  men  to shore .

 

After nine days of "acrimony" , despite  quarantine restrictions ,  the ship sailed   east , another  17 cases  discovered   between Albany and Adelaide  , the remainder  disembarked  at  Torrens  Island  quarantine station .

 

A total of  27 soldiers  and four  nurses    died at  Woodman Island   and were buried there .
 

One of those  aboard the  ship  was  Vernon  Lionel Marsh , born  in Darwin ,  who  apparently  put up  his  age , making out he was  over  18 ,  to enlist;  he  survived   the ordeal  aboard HMAT Boonah  and  signed up for  WWll .  At one stage he managed  the  Memorial Club  in  Alice  Springs in  the early  l950s  .

 

 The  Boonah Tragedy , by Ian Darroch ,  was published in  2004 .  The Boonah was  sold to a German company  in 1925  and  torpedoed by a British submarine  in WWll.   The  article ,  by  Garey Neenan ,  says  Spanish  Flu infected about 500 million people  between  January 1918 and  December  1920 , leading   to 50-100 million deaths , or about   four per cent  of the world's population .

NAKED CITY NEWS BEAT

There are a thousand untold  stories in Townsville , here  are a  few .

 

While Suncorp  is running  an extensive advertising campaign  offering coverage   for    damage caused   by  falling   coconuts,  giant  mud crabs which crush your swimming pool  and   home  invading lizards  , still undergoing repair work  after   many weeks, without  media follow up ,  is  the  tower block  topped by  the Suncorp  emblem in the  Townsville CBD  after part of   its  facade   drooped .  Suncorp  staff   are said to have   decamped as if  being chased by a Katter crocodile.  As  the building   is right  next  to a  bus  stop, centre snap , the area was fenced off to the public,  the   service   rerouted . The above  photo shows  the   building  August 2 . Not far  away , the  tipsy  former post office tower clock   at the Brewery  was  still  telling   different   times  .     

 

ROBOTS INVADING NORTH AUSTRALIA

Alarming  Shipping Reporter Exclusive

Armed robots photographed above  on  the bow of  a ship about to enter  the sleepy  military  garrison  city  of  Townsville. The  menacing  mechanical monsters  are  clearly  visible  on deck  ,  glaring  at the Queen City of the North.  

However, when  they spotted our alert  waterfront  roundsman ,out for his daily spin in the office coracle,  the robots disappeared  and  were  replaced  by  humanoid  dummies , non  paid  up members  of  the  CFMEU.   

 The vigilant  Shipping Reporter,  the only one  south of Planet Zog , espied another  suspicious  looking   marine vessel in  Townsville , probably part of a vast  robotic  invasion  fleet .  While many  residents believe it is the new  stadium under  construction , it clearly  has  the  outline of  a  cattle boat, don't you agree? 



WALLABY LINE DANCERS

Elongated  toe and  tail  tapping  performers on Magnetic Island .  Vallis photograph .