Friday, February 26, 2016

AUSTRALIAN TEST CRICKET BUDGET WORLD SCOOP

Treasurer  Scott  Morrison told the Australian media  at the National Press  Club  in Canberra it will have to be patient as the Budget  will  develop like a Test Match .

Much  to  the  consternation of  Channel 9 Wide World of Sport , SkySport ,  Fox Sport, Wally World and  Disneyland,  Little Darwin has  secured the exclusive rights  to  the  looming   sensational  Australian  Test  Cricket  Budget which promises to be nastier than the infamous 1932-33 bodyline series in which the  Pommie bounder  Douglas  Jardine ordered his  bowlers to aim for the Aussie gizonkas .
From a secret location somewhere in the big end of  town , the  tyro Australian Test  team captain  , Malcolm Turnbull , discusses   Budget  spin and  voter  catching  techniques  with  Little  Johnny  Howard , also known  as  the  cat  in  an Akubra hat. A well known cricket tragic, Howard stunned  Pakistan  with his bowling  prowess - able to make the  ball   perform  like  a  cat  on  a  hot tin roof  just after  having been  desexed by the  vet  .  It also  caused  Warnie to  tear out his hair and head for the jungle  . After  the  instructive  chat , Turnbull  has already  started   sledging  the  opposition .
 
 
There is growing speculation that Turnbull will pad up quickly,  block  supply  and then quick as a flash  reintroduce  worthless   Malcolm  Fraser three  dollar  bills with which to  pay workers. Our team of  freeloading  cricket writers , firm  believers in payola , have  compiled  an  amazing  series  for  our  massive readership.
From left  field , Bronwyn Bishop has been lined up to be the Test  drinks  boy, hovering on the boundary  with  gin  and  tonic ,  Grange, hemlock   and  smelling salts , heckled   by  the  prominent    Hillite  journalist  and  cad , Bob Ellis .

Top  subjects  to   be  covered  in  the  future  include Tony Abbott's  most  painful   cricket moment , with   photo ; Labor's  nasty  negative  sneering  policy ;  confessions of a  maiden over ; ball and  vote  tampering  and  the  Conservative  pollie  most suited  for  silly  point , selected from  a  large  field, including a  number of  Bananalanders.