This hideous creature from outer space emerged from a flying saucer in downtown Darwin this morning to suck out the brain pans of people who claim to be members of the ALP yet allow weird spin amoebas to drop the Australian Labor Party logo from election material . The scary alien told our timid UFO Correspondent , Orson Welles , that it had picked up an urgent ALP distress message on Planet Zog. For any party like the ALP to deny its proud intergalactic record of achievement for workers and society in general and abandon its name was an alarming situation requiring help from superior life forms in outer space . Emitting deadly gamma rays, the angry blob asked Welles to lead him to the Territory leader so that he could begin instant botox suction. The terrifying visitor from a black hole and quaking Welles were last seen heading for one of five new water parks to be opened before next month’s election
