Remains of wrecked Mitchell Street UFO
A gleaming white UFO crash landed during the New Year celebrations in Mitchell Street.Its crew of two was arrested by police and thrown in the space junk locker. The weird looking aliens gave their names as Wallace and Gromit .
Wallace has been charged with flying an unroadworthy and unregistered space vehicle while under the influence of crackers and passing counterfeit Bunnings Christmas vouchers to obtain vast amounts of nuts and bolts from which to make strange gadgets. Gromit, who looks like your average Darwin flea –ridden mongrel, demanded to be taken to the RSPCA to be de-wormed .
Police say the beings from another galaxy claimed to have run into mechanical trouble after a trip to the Moon to gather cheese . The hazardous lunar expedition was made after Wallace read in the Cheese Monthly, one of the latest dreary gourmet and corporate lifestyle publications , that the moon is made of tasty fromage .
This appears to have been a beat up as the cheese turned out to be yet more celebrity frog shit. Yuk! Wallace became ill after digesting so much of the fake fodder and was being rushed to the nearest planet for a stomach pump when Gromit lost control of the spaceship and it crashed outside the Discovery nightspot, scaring the mounted police , Dog Squad, SWAT brigade, the Salvation Army,five slobbering Lady Gaga impersonators of mixed gender and Paris Hilton .
Police Commissioner John McRoberts , disguised as a penguin with a smelly sardine in his beak in a vain bid to prevent tipsy female revellers from kissing him, pulled Wallace from the wrecked UFO then frog marched him along Mitchell Street to the lock up. Wallace was wearing strange techno trousers which made him walk like a ruptured Magpie Goose. Gromit was eventually placed on a leash and taken to the pound, full of stray Nightcliff Boxers.
The police chief has urged all spaced out travellers to go easy on crackers, finger food and misleading gourmet books during the remainder of the year long madness season in the Territory
