Saturday, June 27, 2009

PLUMBING THE POLITICAL DEPTHS

A prominent Darwin plumber is likely to have his certificate of registration cancelled for failing to fix the source of a leak which exploded and nearly washed the NT Government up the mighty Limpopo River without a paddle.

The Dutch plumber , who boasted he was related to the brave boy who digitally saved Holland’s vital tulip industry from inundation, had been called in earlier in the week to investigate an ominous rumble in the S-bend which services the l5 executive washrooms in parliament house, aka the marzipan Wedding Cake.

The mystery roar, described variously as one of those rude sounds made by Neddy Seagoon in the Goon Show and the great Krakatoa explosion , happened on the hour every hour. It also generated what looked like a leak under the carpet , the place where many contentious issues are swept . Unable to solve the puzzle, the dodgy plumber stuffed a wad of media releases into the S-bend and it went silent . Then he presented a bill for $20,000 , free tickets to the V8 car races and an invite to the Chief Minister’s Xmas booze up.

Came the day of an important caucus meeting , which started with the usual singing of Solidarity Forever , and the soggy media releases disintegrated. With a frightening roar , the S-bend cleared and erupted like the Pohutu Geyser at Whakarewarewa after yet again being soaped by a visiting team of drunken Aussie rugby league players. The cascade brought tears of fear to the eyes of caucus members as a biblical flood suddenly filled the chamber in the middle of a Hillsong bonding session. With water up to their chins, somebody screamed, “ Don’t slam the door !”, fearing a tidal wave of grey water would pour down their cake holes. Interpol has been called in to track down the plumber who is believed to be in charge of the bilge pumps aboard a bumboat on the Zeider Zee