TRUE CONFESSION : I WAS SMUGGLED ACROSS THE SYDNEY HARBOUR BRIDGE

 

The discovery  in  a  Darwin  op  shop   of  this   historic   mounted  photograph   of   traffic   on  the  second  day  the   Sydney  Harbour  Bridge   was  open  in   l932  sparked  a  sudden   feeling  of   guilt.   Why ?  Because  I  was  once  smuggled  across  the   bridge  in  a  most  unusual way and   deprived   the   struggling   NSW   coffers   of   revenue .

By  Peter  Simon 

Before  I  am charged  with  any  offence , I  would  like to  say  my older   two  uncles  made   me  do  it ,  your  worship .  See , I  was  just a   gangly  young  schoolboy  when  they  set  off  with  me  on a  horse  drawn  cart   to cross  the  so  called  Coathanger ,  from   the  north .

It  must have been about  1950, when I was  12, but  could have been earlier . The  horse  and  cart  was  used  by  Uncle  Peter , a  bit of  a scallywag,   to  trap  rabbits.

Bales  of  their skins  were   stored  in  my grandmother's  laundry  at Saint Leonards , much  to  her  annoyance .  Smelly ferrets  with  sharp  teeth were also kept in a cage in  the  backyard , near  the  choko  vine.   A  greyhound   which barked  at  night  also  resided on  the  premises ; it   became  silent   after  angry  grannie  gave   it   a   large  dose   of   castor  oil . 

There  were  caged  chooks  and a  fig  tree.  A   swaggie  even  called  at  the  side gate  from  time  to  time .   .

The  horse was   kept  in  a  paddock   at  Artarmon.

Why my  two uncles and I  set out to cross the  bridge into  the  city  cannot  be  recalled . It could not have  been  to catch  rabbits  as we did not have ferrets with us , no  rabbit  traps .

We could have been  making a surprise visit  on my one-legged maternal   grandfather , said to  have taken off  with a " broken down actress ",  who  drove  about  Sydney  in  a  converted  WWll  American  Jeep  buying second - hand  goods ,  from his  shop near  the  waterfront  selling  a  range  of  items , including  hand  and foot operated  sewing  machines , to  South  Pacific  crewmen  working  on  island   trading   boats .

The  cart  had  a  large  box  seat  which  opened up .  As  the  horse trotted onto  the  bridge , it  was  realised   that  a toll  would  have  to  be  paid . But how  much ? Apparently , funds  were   low .   So it  was  decided  by  majority vote   to  slip  me  into  the  box  seat  to  reduce  the   payment .

 There  must have been good  ventilation , because I survived the  crossing  .Not sure  how I got  home , or if I was blue in the  face  when I did  come home  like  Lassie . 

Anyway , the  poor horse  later broke  its  leg  and my uncle's  rabbit  trapping   ended.

His  mode  of  transport   thereafter  included  an  Indian motorbike ,  a variety  of  powerful  vehicles  , a  stock car  he  raced  named  Sin Bin , a  boat  with  an   unforgettable moniker , African Queen .   

The  photograph  at  the  top of  the  post  shows  that  the  whip- cracking Man  From  Snowy River  could  have driven  a  herd of  wild bush brumbies  over  the  bridge  without  disrupting  the  tiny  number  of  vehicles  on  the  road.

MOTORING INTO MOORING

Magnetic Island . Vallis photograph. 

NUDE COWBOY EPIDEMIC WARNING

 Queensland police   and  city  councils  are  bracing  themselve for an outbreak  of  guitar  strumming  naked  cowboys . This follows  the  screening of  a  documentary about  New York, the city that never sleeps, in which  a  muscular  man   in   his underpants  , billed as  the Naked  Cowboy,  featured, making  a  lot of  money  posing  for photographs  with   people, especially tourists  , women in  particular . The  photo below shows  a typical   grapple  in  the  Big  Apple  with  the  raw   cowpuncher..

As  a  result , this is expected to inspire a  horde  of  Queenslanders  to perform  copycat  acts  in major malls  throughout the  Sunshine State to cash in  on  the  clever  stunt . This , it is predicted , will  be  extensive  in   Townsville , home  of   the mainly  fully clothed   Cowboys  rugby league  team .

Magnetic Island , once  dubbed  Cowboys Island   during a football mad  season,  is certain to  experience pop up ,  competing   naked  cowboys  at  the  busy  ferry  terminal  and   the  popular  tourist  attraction - the  dump   tip shop . 

 There  are  signs  that  the  naked cowboy   craze   is  likely to spread to other  parts of  the  north . In  the Northern Territory ,  for  example , there  has  been  a  noticeable  spike   in  the sale of  Bonds  underwear, fancy  bamboo jocks  , expensive   guitars and   underarm  sprays. 

 Darwin's  lively  Mitchell Street  nightclub  precinct    could  be overrun  by  scores of  strumming cowboys  during  the  fast  approaching  early   Mango Madness Season , causing   many  police  to  go  on  stress   leave  at  the thought .  Or  apply  for  a  quick  transfer  to  quieter  Katherine .

A LAND OF NEW BREWS AND HONEY

 A   boutique brewery  having  recently opened on Magnetic Island , it  is  surprising  to  see  a  van  driving  about  offering honey , below ,photographed  by   bee venom  fan , Vallis . That  is not  thought to be  a new-fangled, ocean-going   beehive  atop  the  vehicle. 

TROPICAL GARDEN TO INSPIRE MONET

 

Darwin Botanic Gardens series . It has  an interesting  information centre  in which a video  shows  the  impact  of  the Wet and the  Dry  on the gardens , its  plants and animals . Above photo  is  a  very old   Desert  Rose ,the Northern  Territory's  floral emblem,  possibly  the  largest  one of  its  kind in the  Territory. 

A RIOT OF COLOUR

 

Lorikeets  feasting on Pyrostegia venusta , commonly known as the Orange Trumpet Vine  and  Flame Vine , mildly  toxic  to  dogs  and  humans . 

QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE'S HIBISCUS