CHINESE YEAR OF THE PIG AND TERRITORY HOG NOSED TURTLE

Unflatteringly named   turtle   in   Darwin  Monsoon  Garden attached to the  Northern Territory  Museum  and Art Gallery. It is hoped that if the monsoonal  rain continues in North Queensland , the aggressive  turtles  will  migrate  south   and   attack  cane  toads  and  noisy  Katter  and  LNP  croakers.  

MONSOON HAVOC ; MELIOIDOSIS CASE ON ISLAND ?

As usual , the  mainland  media  coverage   of  Magnetic Island -Townsville's  "Jewel in the Crown "- was  revealed  as  extremely  poor  during  the monsoon  downpour  .  Here  is  a   quick  roundup :

• At the  island   bakery, part  of  the  ceiling  fell in .
• There is  activity  at the  Man Friday  Mexican restaurant  which was flooded by heavy rain  during the night .
• Several  houses  down  at  Horseshoe Bay  have been flooded . 
•  Beaches  have  been   damaged   , part of the   foreshore eaten away near the  Picnic  Bay Surf Life Saving Club .
• Alma  Beach , popular with  the late  author  Inga   Clendinnen  and her  husband  , has  had a large part   at  the creek end  washed away , pumice, leaves and   rubbish spread throughout  the rest . There is an expanding  hole  on  the side of  the   creek  near  the footbridge  .  
• The recently  opened   Rock  Paper Scissors  van  has  closed at  Nelly Bay   due to the weather .  Water  is  visible under the  new  seafood   café .
• Extensive damage  has been done to   roads , surfaces floating in some areas . 
• Police  car   and  ambulance   seen  at  a  house .
• A resident  was  removed to  Townsville   with pneumonia and  possibly  melioidosis , in Darwin   called   Nightcliff  Gardener's Disease   because of a deadly  outbreak there years ago .The Northern Territory puts out  a fact sheet on the  disease.  It is said to  lie  dormant in  soil and  released  during    heavy rain  and  floods . If  this is a  confirmed case,  the public needs to be alerted  promptly  throughout  the  area ,  the symptoms  made known .  
• When a  large  tree  fell over  it   broke a  water  pipe ;  a nearby  power pole  was  blown   at   an   angle  .
• Several tall   hoop   pine  trees  near the main roundabout  are  bent way  over .
• Numerous houses have   leaks , some  with water  coming out of  power points .
•  Townsville City Council   rate notices   arrived . 
• A community  known as Hideaway   was    cut  off   due to   flooding at one stage . 
• One  aspect  of the disaster  which received   surprisingly  little     coverage by   the  mainland media was the state of  the  Queensland Nickel  ponds   which  could   overflow  into  the  Great  Barrier Reef  area .     

MARINE MONSTER ON BEACH

Washed up on a Magnetic Island beach was  this  Jurassic  Park looking   creature  which  on  closer  inspection   turned out to be  a  Logosaurus .

In a bed of pumice, the  log  , for the time being , is on the Alma Bay  beach. It would look good suspended from Little Darwin's  ceiling , but there would be ructions  on  the  domestic  front  .

Meanwhile,  a  bedraggled Sunbird  born during the  current  torrential rain  was  snapped  drying  out ,  asking    for  directions  to  the   Sunshine State .  

MINISTER COPS DRESSING DOWN

Told  to  get  properly knotted a la Sir Robert 

Looking  as if he needs  to be placed on life support , this graphic  photograph of dishevelled   looking  Health  Minister Greg Hunt was  taken when he received the shock  news that  Julia Banks is going to take a  scalpel  to  him  in  his electorate  seat .

 

Readers of this AMA  approved  blog  will  notice that  Hunt   had  difficulty doing up his  tie .  For  ages, the  Coalition  Funk Bunker   spin doctors  and fashionistas  have  been urging  Hunt    to  improve his  public image  by  at  least  managing  to  get  his  tie   done up   straight  and   to  remove the  gutta - percha   stud   from view .

 

In addition , he does not use the knot  approved by Sir Robert  Menzies- the Windsor knot- for  true blue   Liberal Party members  who  do but see  Lizzie Two Stroke passing by . Yet Hunt  continues to wear  an  untidy looking  Baden-Powell   boy  scout   slip   knot. 

 

 

Sir  Robert , the Liberal Party's yesteryear hero , resuscitated time and time again in the past year by  the  scared , mad  Libers ,   wore an exceedingly big Windsor knot when  he tried to stand over  that  Egyptian  troublemaker  chap  , General  Gamal Abdel  Nasser , during  the  Suez  Crisis.

 

It is reported  that  Nasser  told the Mother Country where to  go  and  Sir Robert , red faced , departed  in  a  huff, lobbed  back in the slumbering  Lucky Country and stepped  up  warnings  about  Reds  under  the  beds for a decade   or  more .      

 Even  the execrable  lefty organisation , the  ABC,  correctly  portrayed  babbling  Sir Robert's desire to be   correctly  knotted in the  neckerchief department ,  in  the above  Sammy J's audacious  Christmas  skit . Sammy  , it will be noted, sported  a  Windsor   , as  did  Santa  , but it could not  be seen because he is a hippie  and   does not  shave .  

Julia  Banks  bullying and   scaring  the  well knotted  Coalition boyos  by  telling  them the truth  after PM  Malcolm Turnbull  fell  victim to the club's  hangman's  knot   . Little Darwin  has  been reliably informed, as always ,  that the  Mayor of  Katherine , in the Northern Territory , Fay Miller   is organising   a  massive  buffalo steak sandwich   fund  raiser  for  Banks . Ms  Miller demanded and  received an apology, after six months ,  from Hunt  for a  reported tirade  of  abuse  when she  tackled him over the  serious  PFAS  contamination  problem  in  Katherine. 

ALCATRAZ GETS OLYMPIC POOL

Dubbed  Alcatraz after the notorious  American maximum high security prison    because of its appearance  from  sea  , the  pile at the entrance to  the  Magnetic Island safe harbour  now   appears  to  have a   full length Olympic pool. 

 It   is  "The hole " ,  full  of water  because of  the  torrential rain  , near  the   ferry terminal . The  rusting  barrier that ran along the  depression  was  removed months ago  and  replaced with  a  new  one , the components  stacked  inside the hole,  now  partly  submerged.  

ANOTHER DISASTROUS QUEENSLAND VISIT

ScoMo  goes to  water, fails  pub test  again

CANBERRA : The Coalition Funk Bunker  is in  another state  of  utter shock  after  PM  Scott Morrison chose to drink  mineral water  from a  plastic  bottle  during his  latest foray into FourX  country . On his  ill fated  earlier  bus   tour of  the Sunshine State in a Japanese  Zero ,  he bombed out when he  dropped  his  can of  beer  in  public,  which   did  not  impress  the  locals .

 

 The  latest trip  up north  has been  likened to a  Hallelujah and  Hubris  Sunday School   Picnic  , with plenty of  lollywater ,in which Cabinet members  repeatedly put up their hands to get  permission  to  leave the  room   and   draw  evil  devil  horns  on  grotesque faces   of   Bill  Shorten  and  his  man-boobs  during  a  fun  run .     

Roma Street stationmaster

 

 In a  familiar  old  political slogan , the  PM  emphatically  promised to  get   the  Indian built   trains  to run on time  in   Brisbane , otherwise  several of the high ranking  Queensland Rail officials would  be  given a  Katter  cane  toad  shooter and sent to  the front  line in  Ethiopia, almost certainly ending up sopranos. 

 

ANOTHER BUS TRIP PLANNED !!! 

 

Little Darwin can exclusively  reveal, believe it or not ,  that  the PM  is planning   another   major bus   trip-this time   in the Top End of the Northern Territory.  Darwin's popular   tourist bus   will be refurbished to  sleep the   entire  cabinet   on a  marathon  election   campaign  drive  from Mindil  Beach  to  Rabbit Flat in the Tanami   Desert  .

Bus  outside  museum  Spider  Exhibition .

The massive cost of  converting the bus   is expected to revive the  Northern Territory's  crook economy . Even   so , there will  not  be enough   room for  all  ministers  in  the plush   bus, Christopher  Pyne  and  Greg  Hunt , who deserve each  others  company ,   will  be  towed along  behind   in  a French designed   and  built  nuclear  powered  pop  up  trailer. 

 

According to  a  Funk Bunker leak ,  the PM will wear a  Crocodile Dundee  outfit  throughout   the  epic  outback  bus  safari  in a desperate   bid  to   impress   Territorians .  Like Dundee , he  will try to  acquire the skill to mesmerise  a buffalo  so  that  he  can  do the same to  glassy-eyed  voters  elsewhere  in  the  nation .      

MONSOONAL MOSAICS

Pumice  grottoes and  coconut   studded carpets

Torrential rain , tidal and  wave  action  is  reshaping the beach at   Alma   Bay on  Magnetic Island ,  great   swirls of   pumice continuing to  building  up  throughout .  

Alma  Creek discharge sweeping away beach.

   

Pumice, coconuts, some plastic.

Townsville's Castle Hill  from Cockle Bay , Magnetic Island .