SAVE THE IMPERIAL PIGEONS SCREENING AT CARDWELL

A special documentary to  mark  half a century of counting and protecting  Torres Strait Imperial Pigeons on the Brook Islands, north-east of Hinchinbrook Island , North Queensland, especially  the work of  Margaret and  Arthur  Thorsborne , has  been screened  at  Cardwell. Margaret Thorsborne AO, naturalist , conservationist and environmentalist, was  present  at  the event  which was attended  by many people   involved in the  count  over  the  years . 

 Decorated  with  pigeons in flight  , this  envelope contained  a letter from  Margaret Thorsborne  to Tania Schuett on Magnetic Island , on whose property  the  birds were raised and  studied . A  Little Darwin  continuing series  on  the  Thorsbornes  and   their supporters  is  underway .

NAPOLEON EXILED WITH NED KELLY ON QUEENSLAND ISLAND

Seen  relentlessly  searching  for   books  relating to Napoleon  at  the annual  Magnetic Island bookfest   was Australian bushranger  researcher   and  filmmaker, Gary  Hunn . Why Napoleon ?  Hunn  is a fan of  Bonaparte  and  twice visited  the Napoleon  Exhibition in Melbourne .  This   envious  blogger  was  only  able to  snaffle  one  Napoleonic book from  the clutches of  Hunn  , Britain Against  Napoleon , by  Carola Oman , Faber and Faber, London , 1942, 372pp.  It contains the bookplate of  St Patrick's Catholic College, Manly, Sydney , and  the ex libris  sticker of  B.J.McGrath  B.A., B.Science, 1959.

It seems McGrath was  a legal eagle  who  in  the  early 1930s  with   O.J.O'Sullivan , LL.B., presented Sydney University with   a copy of their  joint work ,The Laws of the Commonwealth of  Australia , as a  special prize for  proficiency  in political science .

 A member of the Australian Catholic History Society , McGrath  opened  the 1953 year  there  with a   talk  on   Charles   Badham  and  William  Bede Dalley.

 

Badham  (1813-1884), born England , a professor of classics, came to Sydney University  where as dean of the faculties of  Arts  and Law one of his students was Edmund Barton , Australia's first prime minister ,1901-1903. An industrious person, Badham contributed much to the colonial education system and development  of  libraries .

 

It seems Dalley (1831-1888) , son of convict parents  , a politician and barrister, the first Australian  appointed to the Privy Council in the UK , was  a  friend  of Badham's , and   a  leading  lay  representative  and  champion of  the Catholic community until  he  married  an  Anglican  who died of  typhoid .  

 

A point of interest  for  Gary Hunn's  bushranger  research is that  Dalley  supported the petition  for Frank Gardiner who went into exile (more later ). He also defended Henry James O'Farrell who attempted to assassinate Prince Alfred . The  plea of  insanity was rejected and he was  hanged .

 

The Britain Against Napoleon book contains much underlining and margin notes in pencil , some highlighting of  text  in yellow . Whoever was responsible , possibly two people, one  was  obviously  well  versed   in  the subject, inserting  dates , additional   information  about  key  players  and  events. One of the six volumes  Gary bought at the bookfest was about the uniforms of Napoleon's guards ; in his existing library  is  a  book on the Little Corporal's  marshals. He enthusiastically  tells how  the adventurous French  explorers took back 6000 specimens  from  colonial Australia, including  black swans  and  gumtrees. 

WOOLWORTHS CUSTOMERS SOUR AFTER SOURDOUGH FROZEN OUT

A   freshly baked / frozen  news scoop

When it comes to  breadmaking  , the  two  major chains , Coles  and Woolworths , are a crumby  lot.  Former Victorian premier Jeff Kennett  sparked an ACCC  inquiry  when he discovered that freshly baked  bread-sourdough and muffins-had been  made  from ingredients  in  Ireland, a wee bit difficult  to  freshly  bake . A  Queensland person complained   a loaf of " freshly baked" sourdough   was  frozen  inside. ACCC  ordered  Coles  not  to use this freshly baked  form of advertising for  three years .     

And now , in Townsville , at  the large  Stockland shopping centre  , the Woolworths  store, without explanation , no longer sells  sourdough . Sourdough customers  are  peeved  and  crusty. Staff   there   could not provide an explanation for  the strange case of  the  missing sourdough  and   said  customers had complained .  
 

One  disgruntled  Townsville  sourdough customer was  told to  try  the Woolworths  Select  stone baked Ciabatta , with Kalamata olive , one of " a  range of rustic  artisan breads " which  is baked  AT HOME   for 18 minutes...just like you  would get from a bakery. Bunged in  the  oven  and heated up does not  sound like the act of an artisan to  this blogger who finds it hard to boil water  let alone turn on an oven  and has  fond memories  of  deliciously smelling  real  bakeries  in  New South Wales  and New Zealand  before  breadmaking  was  crushed  and sliced up  by combines  and  supermarkets.  Ah, capitalism and advertising combined to leave  us  with  the tasteless  crumbs. Somebody  in Woolworths  deserves  to be  beaten over the knuckles with an  Irish  shillelagh  or  the frozen  staff  of  life.      

THE MYTH OF ‘MEN’ IN MENOPAUSE: Learned male chauvinist pig speaks out

By Doctor Phillip Oppian, O.N.A.N (Hons),

Middle Eastern Fellation Fellow of the Eunuchian Institute, Oxford (Street), Sydney.

Author of Mellowness Interruptus – ‘Me No Pause’. 

Assisted by:Piotr Bewleyvivov, University of Slobovigrad,  Komerongsibersk, Iceland (NSW), soon  to  be certified and struck  off  by the medical board .

Doctor  Oppian's  own  hormone  replacement  case  study .

To clear up a question at the outset, the writer of this article occupies the high ground in any study of men in their declining years because he is an exception to what such men call ‘THE RULES’. Firstly, I am not declining, except when declining a Fluffy Duck, a lift from a stranger or A Long Slow Screw Against The Wall. Secondly I am not and nor is my body, aging. I have refused to permit this since my late teens.

My vigour is undiminished throughout and has never been enhanced by drugs or surgery. Indeed, using the ageist convention of adding up birthdays to make a judgement about a man’s compos and mentis, I am unashamed to reveal I am in my 80^th decade. Thirdly, I like women and am reasonably sure they eventually will find their rightful place in society.

 

Predictably this essay will be misinterpreted by certain reactionary elements who feel I am being deliberately ironic. Far from it! I‘m aware of the dangers. Many ironists end up as victims of their own irony; for example, look at the debates of the ‘Womens Lib’ era. Well, there’s not an ironic ulna or tibia in my entire body.

 

Women potentially have a great future but cannot advance until they shed their resentment of men, so it’s way past time (and in women's own interests) for the feminist conspiracy against us to be exposed. Menopause as generally accepted is an exclusively female milepost on the road to old age, but rather than accept this as a normal part of their lives women have successfully exfiltrated this most troubled stage of  their existence into ours.

MEN  LOVE  WOMEN
 

Over generations women have focussed their resentment of their monthly sufferings and the physical and mental difficulties caused by the end of their reproductive cycle on men. They have transferred new types of guilt into men's subconscious. It’s natural to want to punish your torturer but men are not to blame here – if women should blame anyone, they should blame their creator.

 

But this essay is less of an indictment against women than an advance warning to men aged roughly between 18 and 43. Regretfully those over 43 are lost forever. Men-o’pause is not an Irish malady, despite the (now redundant) o-apostrophe in the middle of the word, but it does maintain the original warning to ‘pause and consider’.
 

 RAQUEL WELCH  SHOCK
 

Because we love women, mens willingness to shoulder the imaginary ‘blame’ for menopause has come at a high cost in stress, hair loss, weight gain, flatulence, intolerance, lack of manners, and general social disengagement. All are commonly accepted by men to be the result of their own menopausal aging. In fact these distressing symptoms result from psychological pressure as men try to shape themselves into the kind of ‘punching ball’ that women can transfer their frustrations to.

 

Men have tripped over themselves to appease their women for so long we haven’t realised ‘middle age’ is not our natural state. Consider the validity of the symptoms we suffer. Falling testosterone levels. Failing eyesight. Viagra. Falling sperm counts. Sex drive fading to neutral. Swelling man-boobs. Spotty hands, turkey necks. Incontinence. Lack of self-esteem. These are medical and psychological manifestations, not evidence of an aging process (and note this stuff doesn’t apply to women and is therefore used to assert their ‘stronger sex’ argument.)

 

Women supply the insistent background voice men hear in the back of their minds every waking minute:  ‘don’t fall over, don’t drive so fast, don’t set a bad example, you were told about this months ago, you never say thank you, how could you forget, avoid taking a stand, be cautious what you say’, and so on….this is not the voice of conscience. Women have learned that words can wound at least as well as a sharp blade. Their reaction to their own menopausal destiny prompted their ruthless centuries-long study of mens’ weaknesses.

 

 No longer are women female Spartans, fierce supporters of their men against outside influences.  When men are weakened nowadays women feel a sense of victory over them, and can be pitiless in exploiting it. Men are, as a matter of fact, somewhat naïve and innocent. They Trustem Ergo Sensitivave (I trust therefore am vulnerable: Eumenades). 
 

Are there any men who have escaped ‘men’-o-pause? Only a few. Dwayne Johnson, actor/wrestler. Arnold Schwarzenegger, aspiring actor. Mickey Mouse, actor. Henry VIII, TV personality. And Raquel Welch. To be scrupulously honest, I am unsure about The Pope What is their secret? The answer is obvious. What’s the one thing that makes us different from women? Our penises. Be kind to your penis, it’s the only one you’ve got. Let it speak for you. Let it stand up for you (and you didn’t know about Raquel Welch, did you?). 

 

The seven ages of man may be a myth, but the Seven Stages of Man in today’s female-induced menopause is very real. I recently re-viewed Disney’s ‘Snow White’ and was struck by how the personalities of the Dwarves corresponded with my observations of menopausal men. My Seven Menopausal Dwarves have different names from Disney’s: Twitchy, Sweaty, Gloomy, Bitchy, Cranky, Bloated, and Forgetful.

PRIME  MINISTER  FAILS MEN

 

As long as we swim in a sea of androgynous youth and artificially-enhanced women, it will be difficult to regain our self-respect. The Australian Prime Minister, the self-appointed Federal Minister for Womens’ Affairs, is believed to be preparing a White Paper which encapsulates everything he has learned about the opposite sex. It is expected to be brief. Australian men need a champion and for a time hoped Tony Abbott might be the one to restore their pride; but he wasn’t and he isn’t.

 

As a result, several men of my acquaintance have adopted Buddhism in an attempt to avoid menopause, but sadly there is no evidence they will succeed unless they are reincarnated as a cockroach or a Skink. No, there is only one way to recover our real personalities and that is to confront our false menopausal guilt head-on.

 

Using the squeaky wheel strategy which dictates that the one who complains the loudest gets the hearing, women have dragged men into their own ‘change of  life’ territory. They’ve made us feel guilty about what can be for women a glorious transition to calmness and serenity – but the lie is that menopause is natural for both sexes. Men have swallowed this hook, line and sinker.

 HOPELESS  AFTER   43
 

If men can emerge from stressful transitions such as puberty, loss of virginity, and recovering from car accidents as calm, assured, prepared, wise and helpful people, why can’t women? We men help ladies across the street, love our pets, set good examples for our grandchildren and support our family values. Why is this not good enough? What goes wrong?

 

Thanks to the machinations of women, men now display symptoms of physical and mental decline once they pass the age of 43 because our bodies fail to produce the tsunami of testosterone we once claimed as a basic human right, our skin loosens, our hair recedes, our muscles soften, our bones creak…basically every part of us will retreat and refuse to reappear.

 

Our nobility of mind and body go into ‘denial of service’ mode because our brains have been infected by a Trojan Virus introduced by the very people we should be working closely with: women. So be prepared for this. When you have an episode of rudeness and irritability, remember that none of it’s your fault. It’s not that you’re misunderstood, you’re deliberately being misunderstood! 

Despite the differences between male mellowing and female menopause, one similarity is shared: all women and most men suffer from hormone depletion past a certain age. If we can reject false menopausal thinking we can once and for all reject the idea that both men and women must share a physiognomicalanian fate.

 

It is clear that hormone replacement, the discredited artificial ‘normalcy’ therapy for men and women, is not a natural process. Without the intervention of HRT, what would happen? I suspect we all reach a certain age point as we pass through our lives, which inevitably marks a genderless phase of life in both women and men. Women will have low or no estrogen levels and men, (since the number suffering from so-called ‘male menopause’ is allegedly increasing) will eventually lose their testosterone.

 

After this point the elderly will become an androgynous part of the human species, having only the remnants of once-operative reproductive systems. Eventually society will recognise and reject today’s trivial gender war and gender discrimination. If we eventually all become simply human, what is the point of stereotypes, ideas like ‘male menopause’, and unequal pay and feminism?

 

Our first move toward enlightenment is to find out Who put the ‘men’ into menopause?– 1984 graffiti on a toilet wall, signed ‘IrasciBill’.

Next Week: Dr Oppian examines issues surrounding androgynousness drugs, new trends in androgynous plastic surgery and whether bisexual elites are plotting a gender takeover.

UNIVERSITY PLACES NORTH QUEENSLAND TREASURES ONLINE

More than  100 years old , this photograph, from a glass  negative ,  shows a  miner named  Johnson with a combination  sluice and  cradle  on  the Copperfield River, Oaks Goldfield , Queensland , in the superb  Reverend Frederic  Charles Hall collection , part of  the new  online Special Collections  repository , James Cook University Library , Townsville, Australia .  

 

Reverend Hall (1878-1926), a very keen photographer , born  Woollahra , Sydney,  hoped to be a missionary in China, but served  in North Queensland,  starting with  two years  under the  first Bishop of Carpentaria , Bishop Gilbert White , on Thursday Island ;   later he was  based at Georgetown with an extensive parish taking in  Burketown, Normanton, Croydon, Golden Gate  and small settlements in the south-east Gulf country. (Years later, author Xavier Herbert  (Capricornia , Poor Fellow My Country ) would  travel  through this self safe  area in a car  with  a  clergyman  he  described  as  being  hooked  on  condensed  milk .) Another Reverend Hall photograph , below, shows elegantly dressed women at  a North  Queensland  picnic.

The website was officially launched  by James Cook University vice chancellor , Sandra  Harding, below, right  , at a  packed ceremony  which  included  descendants  of   Reverend Hall , a grandson ,  from Sydney ,  Kenwyn Arthur Hall , providing details about the   invaluable collection of more than 700 glass negatives and  early photographic gear  used  to  take the  photographs .  

 

As part of the   launch the Special Collections section displayed  some of  its  treasures which included early  paintings of  Townsville , part of  the  Sir Russell Drysdale antiquarian  book collection  on   early Australia  and  documents  from the Pioneer Sugar Mill with which  the renowned  artist  was   associated  ,  ephemera  dealing  with  early North Queensland ,  the  extensive  sketchbooks  of  artist Val Russell , part of the library  and  postcards of Spanish   anarchist  Salvador  Torrents  who  came to  Australia in 1915  (the subject of a  series  in Little Darwin ), mining activities and an early  brochure  which  indicates Queensland  was  the  winter  mecca  for Australasia . 



During  the  launch  it was mentioned  that Special Collections  has  the  important  archive of  the  New  Zealand  author , activist , feminist, environmentalist  and  Communist , Jean  Devanny , who   died  in Townsville , the  subject of  a  series  in   this  blog ,  with  still  more  to  come.

FOLLOW UP :   A quick  online viewing of  a   small part  of   Reverend Hall's magnificent collection  resulted in some interesting  subjects  , including  ones of him conducting  a  wedding   at the  front of a  humpy like structure which  includes a  tent and   hessian  walls,  him mounted on a horse, with six others posing against a  tree , another  one of the group  a  cleric  ;  a couple, both dressed in white , with a silver tea service, a Japanese wall  hanging , an embroidered  tablecloth, tongue and groove walls, an unusual clock ; two women inside a building  sitting at  a table  with a large cockatoo on the back of  a chair , what could be a canary in a cage ;  a view of  Thursday Island and  inside the  All Souls  St  Bartholomew's Quetta Memorial Church  there, see view  below   ; a   funeral procession  in  Croydon  with  a  long line of  men on horseback. 

Lifebuoy  off British-India Steam Navigation Company  SS Quetta  which sank with a loss of  134 passengers on  February 28 , 1890 , Queensland's biggest maritime  disaster , visible on wall  above pulpit  .

The interesting site can be viewed at  nqheritage.jcu.edu.au

SPRING IN NEW ZEALAND

Daffodils in Tauranga , North Island .



A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS

Australia's number one Jimmy Buffett  fan , seagoing skipper and  artist, Jenn Payne, painted the  above coconuts which were  presented to the  winners of  the  just ended Sealink Magnetic Island   Race Week in which  60 yachts participated  from  near and far , one crew  from  New Zealand. 

 

 The coconuts, displayed aboard  her 43ft catamaran ,Nyeki ,were painted in her studio on the vessel while Larry the talking  Lorikeet, rescued after  Cyclone Larry in 2006  and a  television star , hopped about  muttering ,   " Bugger, bugger, bugger!"   Larry is the  subject  of a painted   coconut  aboard  the vessel which  shows him , a real dude , in  sunnies , sipping  a  cocktail  a  la  Buffett .

 

Jenn presented  American  singer  Buffett with a painted coconut   at a  Brisbane  concert and he named her  Australia's number  one Parrothead  fan . At an earlier   concert in Sydney , she gave  Buffett , whose music  extolls an island escapism  style,  a copy of  Confessions of a Beachcomber, by E.J. Banfield, of  Dunk Island ,Queensland .

Jenn  is shown above  with a range of jewellery  she makes , plus painted items,  some of which  reflect the relaxed Margarita Cocktail  life style of  North  Queensland. The relaxation will end  this weekend with a  wild bout  of  jitterbugging on Magnetic Island  and while Larry  is now spending  some shore leave  at  the residence of  the Queen of the  Jungle , they are not  expected  to  take part  in  the  jitterbugging.