LIKELY ABBOTT WIN WILL CAUSE EXODUS , DEPRESSION

With  polls  predicting  a  Tory landslide , many  right  thinking  Australians   are  planning  to flee , some  to distant black  holes  in  the universe.  Virgin  chief , Sir Richard Branson , said   there  has  been  an  enormous  sudden  rush   by  Australians wanting  to   book   seats  aboard   Virgin  Galactica’s   first  spaceflight ,  set  down  for  Christmas.   Because of  the  incredible  demand  by  people  wanting  to  become  astronauts   and   rocket  to  another planet ,  Sir  Richard  said  the   pioneering  flight   will  now   take   place  in  two  weeks.    Thereafter ,  there  will  be  standing room  only   regular  flights  each   fortnight. The   waiting  list  would  probably  stretch for  20 years .

 

NASA  this  morning revealed  that  it is  renewing the  moon  landing  plan  to  accommodate Australians  who  want  out  of   this  world  when  the  weird  aliens  take  over after September  7.   Across  the Tasman , the  Kiwis  are  bracing  themselves  for  an influx of  Australian   boat  people  escaping  the   new  regime,  hopeful  of  becoming  Rotorua  poi  dancers   and  gay marriage celebrants .

 In  Melbourne ,  medical  experts  predict  former  Victorian  premier   and  political commentator ,  Jeff  Kennett , will  have  the  busiest  year  of  his  life  as   the   head  of  Beyond Blue   , which  helps overcome  depression   and   anxiety.  To  cope  with   the  certain  avalanche  of  the  depressed  legions , a  sports medicine   doctor  said   Kennett  will  have  to be  Superman  to  stand  up  to the strain.  He suggested  a  course of  strawberry  and  prune  flavoured  Essendon  performance   enhancing drugs to   keep  him   bright – eyed   and  bushy  tailed  during  the   long   ordeal  ahead.

POWERFUL COMMENTARY ABOUT LABOR , POLITICS , INEQUALITY .

 

  American  radio commentator, writer, public speaker, and  author of  the book, Swim Against The Current: Even A Dead Fish Can Go With The Flow , Jim  Hightower  has  spent three  decades battling  the Powers That  Be  on  behalf of  the  Powers That Ought  To  Be - consumers , working families, environmentalists, small  businesses and   just-plain-folks, according  to  his  backgrounder .

 

Twice elected Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Hightower believes that the true political spectrum is not right to left but top to bottom, and he has become  a  leading national voice for the 80 percent of the public who no longer find themselves within  shouting  distance  of  the Washington and Wall Street   powers at  the  top.

He  broadcasts daily radio commentaries that are carried in more than 150 commercial and  public stations, on the web, and on Radio for  Peace International. Each month, he publishes a  political newsletter, "The Hightower Lowdown," which now has more than 135,000 subscribers and is the fastest growing  political   publication in America. The hard-hitting Lowdown has received  both  the Alternative Press Award and  the Independent Press Association Award for  best   national  newsletter. In the  following  slightly abridged  piece  Hightower's  comments  are  applicable  to  Australia  where the nation is  being carved up by  powerful  interests with  little regard  for the  workforce, community services ,  the  environment .     

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Webster’s  dictionary tells us that  Labor Day was "set aside for special recognition of working people." That's nice, but "set aside" by whom? It certainly wasn’t the Wall Street corporate and political powers that be. They nearly swallowed their cigars when the idea of honoring labor’s importance to America’s economy and social well-being was first proposed in 1882. Rather, this holiday was created by the workers themselves, requiring a 12-year grassroots struggle that finally culminated with an act of Congress in 1894.

 

The campaign helped coalesce unions into a national movement. And its message of labor's essential role also countered the haughty insistence of the robber barons of that time. The barons insisted they were America's "makers" — the invaluable few whose monopolistic pursuits should be unfettered. For  they claimed that they and  their corporations were the  God-ordained creators of  wealth.

Despite their bloated sense of self-importance, notice that the American people do not celebrate a CEO Day. Indeed, as Abraham Lincoln put it, the real makers are the many ground-level workers who actually do the making: "Labor is prior to and independent of capital," Abe declared in his first state of the union address. "Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration."

Yet on Labor Day 2013, robber barons are again ascendant, declaring that  they owe nothing — not even a shared prosperity — to the workers, consumers, taxpayers, and other American people who sustain them. Quite the opposite, they and their political henchmen are blithely shredding America's social contract and again insisting that the corporate elite must be unfettered, unions eliminated, and middle-class  jobs  Wal-Marted.

This intentional hollowing out of our middle class is not just ignorant, but also immoral .Yet today's establishment economists are asking: Why are so many people so glum? The Great Recession ended in 2009, they note, and even job creation is picking up. So come on people — get happy !Maybe Labor Day is a good time to clue them into one big reality behind this so-called "recovery:" Most Americans haven't recovered. Not by a long shot. In June, median household income was still $3,400 less than in 2007, when Wall Street's crash started the  collapse  of  our  real  economy.

Why  are  working people  still  so far down? Take a peek at those new jobs the economists are hailing. They're really "jobettes," paying only poverty-level wages, with no benefits or upward mobility. In the recession, about 60 percent of the jobs we lost were middle-wage positions, paying approximately $14 to $21 an hour. Most of those jobs have not come back. Instead, of the jobs created since the recovery began, nearly six out of 10 are low-wage, paying less than $14 an hour. A central fact of the new American economy is that working-class people are increasingly unable to make a living from their jobs.

 

To grasp this widening inequity, befuddled economists might bite into a burger or pizza. Seven of the 12 biggest corporations that pay their workers the least are fast-food giants. Yum! is one. It's a conglomerate that owns Pizza Hut, KFC, and Taco Bell. Workers don't find these chains so yummy; for pay averages $7.50 an hour, with no health care, pensions, etc. In contrast, Yum!'s CEO hauls off about $20 million a year, even as  he dispatches lobbyists to oppose any hike in our nation's  miserly  minimum  wage.workers are beginning to kick  back.

It's a matter of justice.Yes ... and that's what Labor Day has always been about. (This article published  at NationofChange-Progressive Journalism for Positive  Action. )

A SOUPCON OF ANDY WARHOL

There is  an unexpected  touch  of  the US  pop artist   Andy  Warhol -Campbell's  soup  cans -   at  the current   exhibition  of  works  by  Magnetic  Island residents .  Our  rambling  art  critic  was   informed  that  the local  IGA store  provided  actual  cans of   Campbell's  soup  to  provide  backing for  some  paintings  with  no hangers or  stands .  Another  surprise  is a  display  of  views  of   Aleppo , Syria's  largest  city,  any  donations to  help  victims of   the  appalling  conflict.

NEPTUNE RISING IN SWIRL OF CORAL REEF SPAWN

Photograph by Vallis 

ASTRONOMICAL TAX DODGING UNDERMINES SOCIETY, DEMOCRACY

 An  American organisation highlighting the  massive tax  avoidance  by  transnational  companies  recently  stated  that  18 of  the  country’s   biggest  corporations  were using  tax  havens   to “skirt” $92billion  in  US taxes.   These  companies  included  Apple,  Nike  and  Microsoft . There was outrage   in   Britain   when  it was  reported   that  Starbucks  had  paid  no  tax for three years on sales  of   l.2 billion  pounds  ; its  CEO , however , got a  hefty pay increase  .  The   Brits  also  grilled  Google  and  Amason  ( lost   last  letter  of  alphabet ) ;   all kinds of  loopholes  to evade  paying  tax  in large  deals were  attributed   to  Vodaphone .

 

Media  magnate  Rupert  Murdoch  made it into  a  cover story  in  the   New   Internationalist   publication  of  October  2008   headed  WANTED  FOR   DODGING   TAX   JUSTICE . It included   the  graphic  below .

The  article said the Economist  in March 1999 had discovered  News Corporation in the  four previous years  had paid $250 million in corporation taxes  worldwide-a mere  6%  of  its profits. Corporation tax  in  the  US , Australia and  Britain was   more than  30%  at the time . Furthermore , Newscorp Investments main holding company in Britain  had paid no tax at all ,despite  accumulating profits  of $2.8 billion . The report  said  News Corps  some   60 subsidiary companies  used  tax havens such as  the  Cayman  Islands, Bermuda  and  the British  Virgin Islands . 

 

The    British  monarchy, including  QE 11 , the  Queen  of   Australia , were    included  in  the  write  up  because    the   House  of  Windsor    only   agreed   to  pay  tax  in  1990  on  the  $80 million  of   public  money  paid  annually  .  Others   mentioned    were   anti-poverty  campaigner   Bono ,  the  Queen  of   Mean ,  American  Leona   Helmsley   ,  and  the  Prince  of  Liechtenstein ,the  small principality  which  has   one   of    the “most secretive “banking  systems  in  the  world  and   kindly offered  its  services to  the  Nazis  to   stash  their  loot  in   its  vaults.

No  wonder   governments   all  over the  world -including Australia- struggle to   find enough  taxes to   meet  the  community  demand  for  essential services.  The  greed   knows   no bounds   as   many corporations  are  seeking even  more  tax  concessions .  Tax  evasion and  avoidance  will    figure  large  in the   G20  Leaders Summit  in St. Petersburg , Russia , which  starts in a  few days . Whether  anything  positive  comes  out  of  this  gathering  remains  to be seen .After all, when Communism  collapsed  state assets  were  divvied  up  by a  small number of privileged  individuals  who  became  incredibly   rich .  

MIRACLE DRUG FIGURES IN PETER BURLEIGH'S OUT OF THIS WORLD LAST BULLDUST DIARY EPIC

Burleigh's antidote  for  election fever and  Bermuda Syndrome 



A clamouring of reader (count him)  has  reminded  me  that  I’ve abandoned Bermuda in  limbo, suspended  him  in  mid-air between Kununurra and Brisbane with an alien  parasite  working   its  way  up  his  leg  towards  his  brain.  Frankly, perhaps I should leave  his  story there – his  disappearance  would  be consistent  with  the  mystery  of  the Bermuda Triangle itself. This entry completes  his  story using  very  few of  the  facts, because  it’s an  attempt  to  get into the mind of  a man who may  be  in touch with  paranormal extra-terrestrials.

As  Bermuda  rose  in the lift  towards  the  rear  door  of  the aircraft  at Kununurra  he realised he was helplessly bound into his wheelchair and if  the cabin crew were anthropophagi, as seemed likely, he could hardly defend  himself.  He  knew   the  looming door  led  directly  into  the plane’s galley. His only hope was to whip off  his  ankle  bandage and  flash his diseased  limb in their faces. He figured  they wouldn’t want to eat that!  The boy in the yellow jacket grinned at  him reassuringly – or  was  it  greedily? Flesh-eating  wasn’t  restricted to Whitetail spiders (refer #22), and   the  boy’s acne  might  be a  symptom  of   cannibalism.

 The  galley  itself  appeared  normal, with no evidence of  recent  vivisections. Bermuda was deliberately strapped  into an Economy-class  seat within  amputation  range of  the  cutlery drawer. On  the  tense  flight  to  Darwin  he  stared  straight ahead,  not  wishing  to  draw attention to himself. He was ready  to fight for  his  life and concluded  that  offering  his  leg as  a  sacrifice  might  appease  the  cannibals  in the galley  behind  him.  Luckily the large quantity of  drugs  that  had  been  pumped  into  him  helped  him  to  think  clearly ; he could decipher  the  unearthly  language  the  cabin  crew  was  speaking  and   he  could  detect their hideous alien  life forms  beneath  their disguises. His survival instinct demanded that he remain awake and  highly  alert.

He  arrived in Darwin. No limbs were missing. He was met by a woman who claimed to be his wife. She took care of him, often shaking her head at his incorrigible accident-prone vagueness. She was his wife  all  right.  He felt better. Later  they flew  on  to  Brisbane, and  Bermuda spent the first night at home. As the Kununurra drugs wore off   he  began  to return to normality. His wife remarked that this was a subtle change. The  next day  the leg  was  an  even angrier crimson and  was beginning to threaten the family jewels. He went  to  hospital  where he  was  re-filled with antibiotics, really  powerful types which  could  kill a  brown dog. The doctors did more tests and pronounced that his problem wasn’t a spider or snake bite but simply a ‘very nasty’ infection. They called it cellulitis*, which is only about 300,000 times  more serious than the common cold. After five days of  Hospital  Custard  with  Half  an  Apricot on  Top, Bermuda  was  discharged.

 

He reflected on how  his companions on the other side of Australia had  tried to take care of  him, offering him anything even  slightly medicinal  from  Aspirin to Whiskey, often  testing  the Whiskey  for  purity  before  allowing  him  to  drink  it.

  

Bermuda  has let it be known that he wants to hold a reunion in Brisbane, presumably so we can admire  his now pristine, uninfected  leg. But there may be a deeper, disturbing agenda here: if the Bermuda Triangle is now located in his suburb it is possible that we will all disappear. Bermuda himself may be immune to this, although it’s likely  that  part of  his mind already  disappeared  into  the  Triangle  decades earlier.

   

 My view is that you  should attend. Superstition is certainly bunk but  to be well prepared is wise, and I suggest that  you  make  your  will first and bring enough supplies for a  long journey to an unknown galaxy. You’ve heard many stories about the Bermuda Triangle and I challenge you to prove that they are not true. You can even use Einstein's Theory of Relativity if you like. There is simply no way to disprove such assertions and while the burden of  proof should be on the people who make such claims to show where they got their information  and  to  state  why  their conclusions  and interpretations are valid, unfortunately  they’ve all  been  abducted by aliens.  See you at the reunion.

 

COALITION CAUSES NEW WAVE OF UNFORTUNATE REFUGEES



Refugee echidna , revived with mouth to mouth, resting after dangerous swim from Australian mainland to  Magnetic Island .  Photograph  by  echidna lover, Vallis

 

 Hundreds  of   echidnas  are  fleeing  Castle  Hill  to escape the  Coalition’s election  promise  to   provide   $650,000  to   light  up  the  road   for   pesky  fitness   fiends   who   trudge  up  and down  the   prominent  landmark  in   droves .  (See  earlier  post   BISHOP’S LIGHT  ON  THE  HILL  THREATENS  LOVE  LIFE ). The  cuddly  nocturnal  creatures  are  frightened  by   bright  lights and   decided to  flee  after  hearing  the   shock  news . Opposition  Leader  Tony Abbott  ran  up  the hill  recently  with  a  puffing  media  pack  and   looked  like  a  piece  of  road   kill  when  he  posed for  the  cameras  at  the   summit

Startled   Townsville   residents  have  reported  large   numbers  of   echidna’s  rolling  down  Castle Hill  to  The  Strand  and  then   swimming  off  in  the  direction  of  Magnetic and  Palm   Islands.  These   spikey  animals    have  upset   nesting  curlews  on  the  islands   and  punctured  the   tyres  of   many  globe trotting  cyclists.   Backpackers  intending   to  attend  the  next  full  moon  party on  Magnetic Island   have been  warned  not  to  collapse  on the beach  during    the  event  as  they  could  impale themselves on  a  refugee  echidna  and  be   tattooed  in  the process,  much  to  horror  of   their  mothers.