Friday, December 4, 2009

DEATH OF COMPOSITOR BOBBY WILLS

Another link with the colourful early newspaper days of Darwin was lost this week when Bobby Wills died after a long illness. He once delivered a hire car to Rupert Murdoch in Darwin who on shaking hands with him said he could now say he shook the hand of a man who shook the hand of John F. Kennedy . A statement which showed how highly Murdoch regarded his meeting with the US President . The New York representative of Mirror Newspapers Limited, Zell Rabin, arranged the meeting with Kennedy, which was seen as a great coup for the rising newspaper proprietor. A photograph of that meeting took pride of place in the Sydney boardroom.


With a distinctive laugh , an enthusiastic punter , top basketballer, and a member of Waratahs and Brothers footie teams , Bobby began his career at 13 doing the "
shitty" jobs in the run down , union owned Northern Standard .

A lino operator there wore his pants and shirt until they could almost stand up on their own. One of Bobby’s dirty jobs was to clean the metal type which involved starting a fire beneath a 44 gallon drum mounted on bricks and then stirring the contents with a big green stick. Shellite was used to start the fire ; one day the dish from which he poured the flammable fluid caught alight. Instinctively, Bobby threw the fiery dish away- torching the stinking clothes of the linotype operator, who was not only upset , but an hilarious , smouldering sight . A young lino operator living across from the Standard was shot in the hand by a mysterious gunman who was never traced.

The newspaper’s editor , a fiery unionist, convinced the NAWU secretary, Paddy Carroll , a stickler for abiding by rules and regulations, that they should arrange for Bobby to continue his apprenticeship as a compositor at the NT News as the Standard was on its last legs. Other former Standard staff had already gone to the News , including lino operator, Arthur Wright , who had been working at the Standard the day Darwin was bombed by the Japanese.

The week Bobby started at the News it had a new editor – James Frederick Bowditch, -who had come from Alice Springs . As the way of addressing people had been unusually formal at the Standard , Bobby called the new boss “Mr Bowditch ” when introduced to him . Bowditch immediately replied, “Nobody calls me mister-it’s Jim .”

He was there when the rising young media mogul, Rupert Murdoch, bought the NT News and shipped in additional plant and equipment for the old “ tin bank ” newspaper office . As an indentured worker , Bobby claimed to be the first printing apprentice under the Melbourne Technical Training scheme. Furthermore, he was a stickler for reading and understanding the terms and conditions of his apprenticeship. His grandfather, Bob Anthony, held the Number 1 ticket in the North Australian Workers’ Union , so he was no slouch when it came to sticking up for your rights . Upset about a work matter, he threatened to leave and was told that because he was an indentured apprentice, his mother would have to pay a large amount of money for that severance .

Young Bobby disputed this , got on the phone and spoke to Rupert Murdoch’s right hand man in Adelaide , Ken Cowley, arguing his case , pointing out the paper had not kept its part of the contract . Cowley reportedly said to put Bowditch on the phone, and told him Bobby was right. ( When Bobby later became a fireman , he showed a strong understanding of rules and regulations and fought for better conditions .)

Like all the staff at the newspaper, he toiled long and hard in torrid conditions , there being wartime bullet holes in the roof, Wet season leaks , thousands of ants , an occasional python or two , large numbers of protesting frogs in the shower and dunnies, with the occasional transitting frill necked lizard.

One day lino operator Arthur Wright,very fit and full of information about the interesting people of Darwin from the 1930s on , especially in relation to unions and politics, started making odd noises as he worked at his machine, which was not unusual for him . Factory staff wondered what "the old bugger " was doing , told him to shut up , then he fell out of his chair on to the floor. There had been an electrical fault in the machine and he had been experiencing a shock .

Other compositors Wills worked with included David McDonald , Brian McKnight and Peter Secrett . Other hands included Kevin Kelly, who worked for the NT News for nearly 50 years , Timmy "Tim the Toyman " Forday , Dawn Boffie , Arthur Wright's wife, Pat , Alan Rabjones and many others . He was popular with everyone and helped educate many of the journalists who passed through the News office .


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Earlier this year , Little Darwin began taping Bobby’s life story . At about four years of age , he was evacuated from Darwin on December 21, 1941 aboard the Zealandia . His grandmother , May Anthony /Ramirez, was keen to return to the Territory as soon as possible ,so they made it back to Pine Creek in early 1944 and she ran a cafĂ©.

A major event he recalled was the time , thought to be August 15, l945, when Pine Creek storekeeper , Jimmy Ah Toy , announced he was going to drive to Darwin to celebrate what seemed to be the end of the war. A large tool box on the back of the truck was emptied, and Bobby and other children clambered inside . That night a long line of bonfires was lit on Mindil Beach .

About three weeks later, the family was allowed back into Darwin and tried to get their house back , they having to share a house in Stuart Park for a time . His mother was informed that a set of buffalo horns she had mounted before the war was in a house with push out windows. She replied that there had to be hundreds of buffalo horns in town. Urged on , she did go and check, and when she asked to look at the horns saw the name of the man who had mounted them for her. The people offered to buy them , but his mother said she was happy for them to keep the horns.

Bobby had his tonsils and adenoids removed in an army hospital where Kormilda College now stands. While there he wolfed down ice cream and jelly but did not like the fish and white sauce , which he could not eat for a long time afterwards.

A lot of military stores were “ knocked off ” in Darwin in those days and he remembered having white bait and plum jam sandwiches at school

A character known as Ever- ready Ted , who lived at Mandorah, was bitten by a dog which ran out of its owner’s shop and attacked him. That night a stick of gelignite was thrown through the window of the shop.

Like many young Darwin boys, Bobby took part in boxing matches at the Stadium in Cavenagh Street . These were over three rounds and the boys received ten shillings ( $1 ) a round and the shower. In one fight , against Benny Cubillo, declared a draw , Bobby nearly made more than his stepfather got a week and bought himself a pushbike.

Collecting the ten bob for each of the three rounds was not easy. An old bloke who lived at K9 was supposed to pay the money out on Sunday morning. On Saturday night, fight night, he would get drunk, and in the morning, he hung over , would tell the boys to come back later, but they stood their ground and demanded payment . Bobby’s mother kept a collection of fight posters from those days , photos and cuttings which were , unfortunately, thrown out after Cyclone Tracy.


In what he called one of the most embarrassing moments in his life, he partnered a younger auntie in a debutantes ball in the old Town Hall . Told he had to wear something called a tuxedo, he was measured up for one and it was procured from Melbourne. The most stressful part was learning the steps of five dances which included the Pride of Erin and the Foxtrot. Trying to remember the steps and the ball was an ordeal he never wanted to do again.


While working at the News , Bobby went to gambling dens in town with reporters Peter Blake and the one and only Jim Ramsay , both of whom are legends in Australia and America . His colourful accounts of those evenings were normally accompanied by outbreaks of Bobby’s infectious laughter. One evening Ramsay was on a roll and cleaned out a crown and anchor school held underneath a house on piers. Against Blake’s advice, he went upstairs with a bundle of money to a card game and lost his shirt. As Ramsay often only wore a singlet with a tie to major social events , he probably did not worry too much about losing his Pelaco . An enterprising fellow, Ramsay used also to take home the end of newsprint rolls for rip and use bath towels. Ramsay got the idea for the notorious , huge selling Kings Cross Whisper from Darwin's Waratah Whisper, which he edited for a time, sending up the town ,especially politicians and even editor Bowditch .

May Bobby, cutting a dashing figure in his tuxedo, out dance Fred Astaire up there in printers’ Heaven .

Thursday, December 3, 2009

ADAM & EVE SNAKY ABOUT NT GARDENS


Plans by government to turn Darwin into another Garden of Eden are causing head shaking and anger in the nursery industry . Little Darwin’s horticultural roundsman, Cyril Thistlewaite , says people ordering plants for major new landscaping projects seem obsessed with “ natives” and other trees and shrubs which have proven to be failures over a long period in Darwin.

Projects coming up include the gardens and areas at the new oncology unit, Royal Darwin Hospital; stage 11 of the Bellamack housing sub-division street planting; tree planting and landscaping at the Coolalinga road intersection ; Sky City Casino landscaping , which includes protection for a sacred site; landscaping at Lyons. .

Thistlewaite says the trouble with the plant lists is that they contain plants which have been abject failures in local landscaping , especially acacias and most eucalypts , in more than 30 projects spanning 15 years.

Most of the specified plants are hard to source, unavailable or not suited to nursery production. The majority of quantities requested are in the hundreds and a few lines over a thousand. There are some plants which are simply not available and some that are known to only seed once in five years . The request for them comes at a time when there is nil stock and three years to go before they seed again.

There is a proposed mixture of woodland and riparian plants- drought tolerant and monsoonal forest plants- to be placed alongside each other. Past experience has shown that simply does not work. This juxtaposition has resulted in landscaping which is often bedraggled looking and sparse , with twisted and mean looking acacias likely to be blown down in a sudden storm.

Our man Thistlewaite says nurserymen have told him the proposed landscaping will not really enhance the appearance of Darwin and provide little beneficial shade for the populace. It is also the view of experienced nurserymen that planned watering systems for projects are inadequate. They say there is a preference to use domestic irrigation equipment which is easily vandalised or damaged

They brand this as “second rate “ watering, based on the belief that the plants will survive without water after establishment, only needing a “good Wet season to get going .” This sentiment , known as dryland grassing ,is rubbish, according to those in the know. Plants need watering from day one and increasingly so as they mature. Without proper irrigation the government’s plans are doomed to fail, say the horticulturists, and it would be better for the government not to go ahead and save taxpayers’ money.

It has been claimed that the Sky City Little Mindil project does not include irrigation and contractors have been advised to hire a water truck. For how long ? How often? Plants there have been specified as tubestock and will be tiny .Watering from a truck would probably wash the small plants out of the ground , with a high death rate. Top End nursery propagation experience dictates that juvenile stock needs to be in 50 percent shade for much of the plant’s early life , certainly after the tubestock phase.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

CHRISTMAS MIXED NUTS SPECIAL PACK

Prince Charles and a host of NT high flyers, including Darwin’s Mayor , Dr Ella Stack, once came down with Bombay Belly in Alice Springs. During the recent Alice sittings of the Legislative Assembly guess who came down with food poisoning? *** The latest hot tip is that the weird singing guy in the Bottlemart Tv advertisement has applied for a position as a spin doctor in the Chief Minister’s Department. Of course, he will wear his bottle costume when dealing with the thirsty media pack.*** It is quite clear that the NT News has a well thumbed book of quotations , but does it have a dictionary on the premises ? Its understanding of charismatic does not seem to appear in Webster’s, Collins Pocket , the Oxford . *** Wonder who has commissioned Roy Morgan to ring round asking questions about police, safety and crime ?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A GROSS NATIONAL INJUSTICE

It was a great honour for a leading Northern Territory Aboriginal art dealer , Ms Shirley Collins , when she was asked to take part in the 1999 -2000 Bank of America Down Under Tour of the United States in an inflatable replica of the Sydney Opera House . Instead, it led to her financial ruin, a decade of stress , costly , inconclusive legal battles and poor health. An expert attested that Collins became “the scapegoat for a litany of bureaucratic failures” in both countries in a major event designed to promote Australia.


In what amounts to a last desperate bid to receive a modicum of justice , Ms Collins is seeking an act of grace payment from the federal government .

The sorry saga , neglected by the local and national media, goes back to April 1999. It was then that the Australia Council, offering a $20,000 seed grant , initially invited Collins to be one of 15 ambassadors for Australia in the Australian Tourist Commission /Bank of America Down Under Tour Roadshow . This was to be an extensive 12 month tour of America in the blow up Sydney Opera House as part of the build up to the Sydney Olympic Games.

Publicity put out by the Bank of America for the Down Under Tour said Americans would be able to experience Australia through displays from all states and territories, Aboriginal art and dancers and make an outback airline flight in a simulator . There would be a five storey Olympic flame tower in an exhibition space half the size of a football field . The bank also announced it would use the event as a fund raiser for the US Olympic Commission .

Collins, widely acknowledged as one of Australia’s leading promoters of Aboriginal art and craft , had a successful track record . In 1983 she had organised an Aboriginal art and craft display at Newport , Rhode Island, as part of the America’s Cup celebrations. In addition, she had arranged installations at the Caz Gallery ,Los Angeles, the Australia Gallery in New York, the Bond Fine Art Gallery, London , and in Japan had been involved with Professor Shozo Koyama’s Gallery, Osaka, and the Kobe Museum . In addition, she curated the l997 inaugural exhibition at the opening of the National Aboriginal Cultural Centre in Sydney

At the time of the invite to the American tour , Ms Collins owned Darwin’s successful Raintree Aboriginal Art Gallery and was the chairperson of the Jarraman Arts Aboriginal Corporation, an Aboriginal owned gallery designed to foster development and preservation of art, culture, tradition, mythology and craft.

A grant was sought from the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Commission (ATSIC) . Before any commitment , ATSIC engaged international marketing consultants , Deloitte , Touche Tomatsu , Brisbane , to produce a feasibility report , which it did, collaborating with Auslink (Marketing ) , Darwin .

Meetings took place in Darwin with Mr John Dwyer (ATSIC) , Mr Bob Tormey Auslink ( Marketing ) and Alan James , manager of the internationally renowned Yothu Yindi band , its merchandise to be to be sold along with the art and craft. Auslink and Deloitte both gave an enthusiastic thumbs up for the tour.

A financial model was prepared on projections of $1.4million sales revenue(worst case scenario) for the tour. On a margin of 50 percent it was expected the communities would sell about $700,000 of stock, about $70,000 each. First cut projections indicated a gross profit of $500,000. In addition , there would be a great boost for the NT and increased art and craft output on Aboriginal communities .( These figures would later be described in court by an expert witness as over blown and , in some respects , based on erroneous and incorrect assumptions.)

On the strength of the favourable report , ATSIC , rejecting a call for a grant, said it would make a loan of $160,000, $100,000 of which would be secured as a mortgage on Collins’s house. At the time Collins already had mortgages over Raintree Gallery and her home totalling $160,000.


While the feasibility report and other details were being worked out ,Collins was involved in hectic activity preparing for the major event . With time running out and so much time and effort having been put into organizing the stock from far flung communities , Ms Collins had no alternative to the ATSIC loan . ( The circumstances and alleged illegalities connected with this mortgage and subsequent actions of ATSIC would become part of the legal wrangle.)

NT Aboriginal organizations which agreed to provide works for the tour were Yothu Yindi , Buku Larrngay, Bula Bula Arts, Tiwi Islands Arts , Maruku Arts ,
Urapuntja Arts and Papunya Tula . Other communities -Utopia,Yuendumu,Arurlangu Art,Injalak and Maningrida
–were also approached but their stocks were too low at the time.

A bill of sale was obtained for the stock to be taken to America which would be sold along the way . From the loan and the cash flow Collins would pay suppliers, overheads including accommodation, wages , vehicle hire and make instalments on the ATSIC loan. It was anticipated that the tour would result in a big demand for refresher stock as the tour progressed across America. The NT Chamber of Commerce and Industry congratulated Ms Collins for her looming participation in the forthcoming major Down Under Tour.

Special uniforms with Aboriginal designs were made to wear in America.
Near the end of August 1999, Collins, her son ,Lloyd , Larrakia digeridoo player Daniel Lee and consultant Paul Kaethner set out on what was hailed as a major boost for Aboriginal art and craft in America. Meeting all the requirements for the loan, stock purchase contracts and other needs meant that the Territory party did not join the travelling Opera House show until three weeks after it started, in part due to uncertainty caused by a menacing hurricane, on the tour of 47 cities .

Their late arrival and the failure by Australian representatives in the US and Australia to realize that the Bank of America was going to solely use the event to raise money for the US Olympic team meant Collins faced an impossible situation almost from the moment of arrival in America.


Despite all the high powered backing and the rosy projections of financial success , it soon became apparent that there were fatal flaws in the tour which should have been picked up by highly- paid experts . After all , this was a major promotion of Australia in America with the powerful Bank of America.


In a nightmarish situation, Collins found herself faced with ever growing problems, uncooperative, obstructive Bank of America staff, a key Australian Tourist Commission official who could not be contacted and other stressful matters. For nearly two days they had to stand in line to secure green cards authorizing them to work in America. Then they were informed of a mountain of approvals and authorizations they needed to sell in America, there also being a plethora of state tax requirements with which they would have to comply.

A convoy of large trucks , decorated by John Moriarty ( who did the Qantas Aboriginal motifs ) covered in Aboriginal designs from the Borroloola region, Collins’s country , proclaimed the Bank of America Down Under Olympic Games Tour . Collins hired a car and a trailer to transport her party and stock . Two tonne of stock arrived at Kennedy Airport but it was held up because a transport company described the goods on the manifest as spears and fighting clubs. The containers ended up stranded at Kennedy Airport for five months before being shipped back to Darwin.

The very first event Jarrraman participated in on the tour , run over three days , appeared to be mainly organized for Bank of America officials and their guests in North Carolina Each of the l5 ambassadors had a “ pod ” inside the mock Opera House. The Tjapukai Dancers from North Queensland were present and added to the Aboriginal content.

However , the pod from which Collins operated had no counter on which to transact sales, no eftpos , no cash register , no wrapping facilities . While people were interested in the Aboriginal art and craft, many seemed to think it was an exhibition where brochures and pamphlets were handed out , but nothing sold, despite the fact that all the items in the Jarraman section carried price tags. Despite these problem, Collins felt the tour would be successful once the difficulties were overcome because of the large number of people who attended the function .

Collins approached Bank of America officials who did not seem helpful. She explained to them that she was there to sell Aboriginal art and craft from which proceeds she had to pay for the extensive tour. After North Carolina the convoy headed for Baltimore but officials did not notify Collins and her group that they were leaving. As a result, coming to breakfast at the hotel , she and her party suddenly discovered the entire road show had long gone . They were left to find their own way , a seven hour journey which became 11 hours because they did not know the way and had no convoy to follow. Bank of America officials reportedly told Collins and her party, : " We forgot about you Aboriginals."

In Baltimore , Collins set up a card table from which to do business in the pod but to carry out any transaction she had to push through the crowd to a place called “ the outpost” where there was an efpost facility, then fight her way back to the pod with the customer and item .

Larger, more expensive items could not be hauled through jossling crowds.
Then Collins heard a woman shout,” That Aboriginal pod over there , what do you think you are doing ?” It was a Bank of America official who declared she would not have any “hawking ” carried out at “ my festival.” Collins explained the situation , but the aggressive woman almost tipped over the card table and repeated there would be no “ hawking ”.

Furthermore, she demanded the prices be removed from the stock.
Stunned at this outburst , Collins several times phoned and emailed the key Australian Tourist Commission contact in the US, Bob Monfrini but he was never available. She called ATSIC back in Darwin and others who had been involved in preparing what was supposed to be a highly successful tour which had turned into a nightmare. Feeling ostracized by the Americans , unable to contact the ATC chief and sensing her fellow Australian ambassadors , for some unknown reason , did not want to get involved, she was worn out and stressed . With funds running out , Collins attempted to sell stock to local art galleries in Baltimore , without success.

She openly admitted to “ running about like a chook with its head cut off ”trying to raise money and keep the show on the road Another location for the travelling Opera House was in a national park in Washington DC where, she was informed , local laws prevented anything being sold for profit.

Everything came crashing down through no fault of Ms Collins . They decided to bail out after only three weeks. Even at this late stage , how the Bank of America, Tourism Australia and others in diplomatic posts allowed this situation to develop demands an explanation.

The depressed party returned the hire car and trailer to Raleigh ; then, after all bunking down in one room , eating as cheaply as possible, they made their way to Los Angeles airport and used their return tickets to fly back the long way to Darwin , an exhausting 42 hour journey .

Bob Monfrini ,of the Australian Tourism Commission ,Los Angeles , called in a member of the Australian Indigenous Art Trade Association , Maryanne Hollow , in the hope she might be able to help the organisers of the tour following the departure of Collins. After inspecting the travelling show in America, Hollow , in a document prepared for the Federal Court in Darwin , Adrian Newstead of Coo-ee Gallery , Sydney , was quoted as saying “the ATC staff were completely out of their depth and the entire road show brought little credit on Australia.”

There was no triumphant welcome home mat for Collins in Darwin . In the tragic wash up, ATSIC, acting on advice from the Australian Government Solicitor in Darwin, seized the stock returned from America and invited suppliers to retrieve their goods, most of which did .

The fact that Jarraman Corporation had a bill of sale over the goods , Collins felt she could sell the art works and pay off all or most of her debts. The stock was offered to organisers of the Aboriginal art exhibition at the Sydney Olympics, but they did not take up the offer. A welter of lawsuits resulted, claims and counter claims - ATSIC, Auslink, Deloitte , several Aboriginal art organisations ,Tourism Australia.

The seizure of that stock became a major legal issue . Collins ended up losing her home, her Raintree Gallery folded , and she was forced to sell other assets Her standing and reputation in the trade and with Aboriginal communities suffered as a result of the fiasco. Today she has outstanding legal debts of at least $300,000.


In legal actions which followed , the Australian Tourism Commission admitted liability of up to $100,000, but this fact was not revealed until years later through freedom of information . ATSIC steadfastly disavowed any liability, demanded return of the loan and repeatedly stonewalled when it came to handing over documents under freedom of information .

On several occasions the claim has been made in official documents that the affair could have been resolved early in the piece and for far less money but for the hardline attitude taken against Collins by ATSIC and its successor, Indigenous Business Australia .

In her battle for justice, Collins contacted scores of people in high office from Prime Minister Howard down , including the ATSIC head , Geoff Clark, his deputy, Sugar Ray Robinson , and the late Charles Perkins ,the latter reportedly stating that the ATSIC claim against her should be dropped.


Ms Collins, a daughter of a stolen generation woman , is a 70 year old pensioner , suffers from diabetes and lives in a small rented unit in Darwin

In the early 1950s she worked as a bookbinder in the old “ tin bank ” office of the Northern Territory News at the time of the crusading editor, Jim Bowditch . If Bowditch were alive today and running the News he would be giving this issue a major run .

( Part 11 of this case will be posted at a later date , further revealing the shabby treatment Ms Collins has experienced , weak politicians who seem unable to frame a question and further evidence that Collins was the scapegoat for a massive bungle. )

WAR OF THE WORLDS AT NT NEWS


Warning ! Warning! Warning! Creatures from outer space , perhaps from Planet Nigela which has 15 moons made from tasty Moccha coffee, chicory and pasteurised yak milk , have secretly invaded and seized the NT News building. An alert Little Darwin reader ,Orson Welles , detected the takeover by aliens when he drove up to the newspaper office to lodge an expensive full page advert for his missing, house-trained , pet aardvark , Cyril.


His hair stood on end with fright when he spotted a pulsating giant white inflatable biological warfare exclusion facility attached to the building. Clearly, this was something out of the X-Files , so he screeched to a halt, slipped into reverse and fled the scene . What rot, we told our informant , but he insisted there was something spooky going on at the News .
Scoffing, we rang the paper and , acting stupid, easy for us, asked them if a white balloon had been inflated next to the building as part of an advertising gimmick . The person who took our call was not even aware that there was an evil , throbbing , white amoeba attached to the building. The newsroom would probably know, she said, and kindly switched us through to a robotic sounding person called Matt . Still playing dumb, we asked if a balloon had been blown up on the premises. No, said he, it was a tent for some work going on in the building related to pipes.

A pipe going into a newspaper office ? Sounds as if the aliens are creating a new atmosphere in which they can multiply like cane toads and guide in the invasion fleet . Make the most of this Christmas as next year we could all be enslaved by Martians and the banks.

TERRITORY BRANDED A FAILED STATE


An editorial in the national newspaper ,The Australian, (November 30,p17), said that if the federal government could sack state or territory governments like states are able to fire corrupt or non -performing local councils, the Rudd government would have a “watertight case” to dismiss the “ incompetent, meanminded ” NT Labor government. The editorial was headed CYNICAL POLITICS OF THE WORST KIND IN THE NT .

After listing all the shortcomings of the NT government , especially in relation to the expenditure to improve the lot of the indigenous community , the leader ended up by stating that if the NT could not do better, “the Rudd government has no choice but to move in.”

If this- the national newspaper branding the NT a failed state - is not a local news story, then what is ? Not a mention, not a follow up in the local media directly linking it to this scathing criticism of government . Of course, spin – denying the bleeding obvious – was issued . You frequently wonder if the local establishment, including the media, is aware that there is a world outside the Berrimah line where the media runs reports about political, financial, mining and global events which could/will impact on the Territory .

LES GIRLS HAIL MACBETH


There is no doubt about it, women find men in positions of political power alluring. When Paul Keating rolled Bob Hawke for the Labor crown , Little Darwin was surprised by the way some female members of the party seemed to almost curtsey in his presence , as if it was the Sun King passing , when he perambulated along the corridors of parliament .
Indeed, several almost fell over each other trying to be near the newly anointed leader with the big picture . One , a highly educated femme who treated party functionaries and branch helpers with haughty disdain, stood out , beaming , almost swooning as he swept by on the way to the throne to tinker with his French clocks.

It was like a mute, female version of the time Sir Robert Menzies , smooging up to Queen Elizabeth, quoted that passionate clergyman, John Donne , as saying he did but see her passing by, and yet would never forget her until he died . In this case the ALP femmes were buckling at the knees at the sight of seeing Paul and being so close to the new mover of heaven and earth .

In the latest Liberal palace coup, the jug-eared juggernaut, “ Mad Monk ”, Tony Abbott, encountered the same admiring reception from many true blue political groupies. At his first media conference , Julie Bishop, no doubt delighted to still be the deputy leader of the party, positively beamed at Abbott as if he were Brad Pitt . It would have been harder to find a more dazzling smile in a digitally enhanced Colgate ring of confidence advertisement.


And sitting up admiringly in the audience was Bronwyn Bishop , she with the unrequited lust to be PM , a stated aim since much younger days when she slurped coffee with solicitors in Angel Place, Sydney. As Abbott has been described as the political love child of Bronwyn and John Howard, she had cause to be proud about her bouncing baby boy being voted king of the kindergarten.
Sitting beside Bronwyn was the monarchy –loving , Sophie Mirabella, whose baby featured in a heated exchange with Belinda Neal before it was born. As Sophie and Bronwyn were both opponents of Malcolm, Merry Christmas had come early for them.

Little Darwin was looking up a Crikey.com report about Bronwyn being annoyed with Malcolm and moves to challenge her –re endorsement in a bid to inject new blood into the party , when the Darwin power supply went out , again . The computer was cranky when the power came back . It does not pay to mess with Bronwyn who is now in Wiki and can apparently invoke divine intervention.

Attending the same media conference were other lady Libs flashing lots of toothy smiles at the new Roman candle . And like a defrocked male Vicar of Dibley, in black, sat author/journalist ,Bob Ellis , who once made inflammatory statements against Bronwyn Bishop , and even stood against her in an election. God punished him by burning down his house. God also smiled on Abbott in a court case over something Ellis wrote in one of his unGodly political books, which Little Darwin finds a delight to read. With such powerful connections , you wonder how the Libs are in such a devilish mess.


God and Opus Dei sure work in mysterious ways . How could Abbott possibly have been so appealing to the women voters in the Liberal party conference room after that weekend photo of him stripped down in his budgie smugglers at the surf carnival ?

With all that hair over his body, he looked like one of those Arnhem Land sea slugs getting over oil spill pollution or one of those offensive objects spewed out by the old North Bondi sewage treatment plant which figured in Frank Hardy’s great book, Outcasts of Foolgarah , a character being Billy Bigears . This was said to be a rude reference to a Liberal PM who led the party to electoral defeat.