Shipping Reporter Scoop ,Exclusive Photos
Cunningly disguised as rusty, barnacle-encrusted pushbikes, midget nuclear- powered submarines are being constructed on Magnetic Island , off the North Queensland garrison city of Townsville. The above deadly weapon will tip the balance of power in the Indo-Pacific . Secretly filmed with a Japanese camera, the above submarine is soon to roll off the top secret production line on the island .
Once its tyres are inflated , Attorney-General , Michaelia Cash , will hop aboard and pedal the awesome weapon to the Stirling submarine base in Western Australia , pausing at the Henderson shipbuilding yards for a leg massage and some rest and resuscitation to recover from long bouts of mal de mer , a dreaded French submariners ailment.
When Cash recovers, If ScoMo is still campaigning in WA announcing another billion dollar shipbuilding yard, perhaps in Broome to protect the Paspaley pearl industry , she , squawking like a seagull due to all the chundering , is sure to turn up at the photo opportunity , with leg muscles better than Diver Dan after the long voyage from Maggie .
Magnetic Island was chosen as the place to build the submarines because it has a safe harbour and the mainland media hardly know it exists, except for cuddly Koalas .
The sleepy mainland scribes failed to notice that another Australian deadly weapon, the Kraken , has been called back into service by the Royal Australian Navy to scare Chinese spy ships and is currently swimming about in the island foreshore rubbish .
