Showing posts with label Submarines Korea spoof. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Submarines Korea spoof. Show all posts

Friday, June 2, 2017

NUCLEAR SUBMARINE SECRETS

Bad  news  for  Boofheaded ,  fat   dictator : the Charm Club  is fighting  fit  and has  you in  its  sights .

Following yet another  gaffe  by US  President  Donald Trump  in which he revealed  that  there  are  two nuclear  submarines  off   North Korea , comes  another   underwater  warfare   secret.

American  submariners  have  been using  an electronic exercise   machine to   keep trim . This  depth  charged   leak  was  contained  in  the  above    large  advertisement  for  the  Relax-A-cizor , used  aboard  atomic subs  Seawolf, Skate and  Nautilus .
 
It tells how the   medical officer of  Seawolf  got the idea  by  watching his wife using  such a gadget   to keep trim . If she   could trim her hips  and waist   by simulated exercise , why wouldn't it  work on the  crew ?
 
In the record smashing  voyage in which Seawolf  stayed submerged for two months , 13  crewmembers  ,  dubbed the   Charm Club , used the   device  30 minutes  a  day , six days  a  week .
 
During that time , a lot of water passed over the  conning tower   and  the Charm Club  lost an average of one and a half inches about the waist   , one  three and a  quarter inches . Fifty  percent (six  and a half !! )  were able to sleep easier  and all wanted  to   keep  the  machine  aboard ;  the  Skate  and Nautilus  followed suit  .
 
The gadget  could  be  ordered  in the USA, Caracas, Venezuela , Mexico City and Havana , Cuba (wonder if  the  Russians  bought them  down there  ? ). The   advertisement appeared in the  March 1959   Esquire  magazine   for   real  men , some short , who could  buy   height  increasing  shoes  called  Elevators  , apparently to impress  blondes  in   two  piece  swimming costumes  who  go  for  tall  men .   One would think  a bloke strutting  about the beach in high heels would  be  regarded   as  a  bit  of  a  dork  by  members of  the  opposite sex .