Showing posts with label National Lampoon Bali. Show all posts
Showing posts with label National Lampoon Bali. Show all posts

Friday, December 29, 2017

AUSTRALIAN TURDS BE WARNED

The second ripping yarn in our (Inter)National  Lampoon Christmas / Chinese  New
Year Holiday Vacation  special

Ignoring  the threat  of a major   Mount  Agung  eruption   , one of our intrepid  correspondents flew  to   Bali   for  the  Christmas -New  Year festivities  and blew his mind  reading  the quirky   and unusual   stories  in  local  publications- the  Kuta, Denpasar and Sanur weeklies and the Bali Advertiser- produced   for visiting  tourists  and   expatriate members of  the  community. Here  is just one  offbeat  report which caught his eye .  
 
 TURDS : The heading on this  item was  just that-TURDS . This is the collective   name  given  to  groups  of  people  who  go into   eateries and gradually sneak out  , one by one, without paying  the  bill . Amused by  this  report, our  man  asked  locals   for   further details.
 
He was regailed by a  slight Balinese  woman with an amazing  account of a notorious Turd , a huge , muscular European , a Belgian ?, who paid the ultimate price for not paying for his  food...his life. Seems he participated  in those barbaric ultimate UFC  fight nights , provided  as  entertainment  at  Kuta ,  where anything  goes .  He  brazenly  ate  up big  in restaurants  and walked out  without  paying , nobody challenging   the  hulk.
 
Complaints, however,  were made to police, and they eventually called  at  his residence . Out  he  came - roaring , wielding  a   knife  , saying  they  would  have to kill  him .  Our  man was  given  a  graphic verbal  description, with violent  associated  hand stabbing  gestures,  telling  how the man  slashed  at a police  officer and was shot dead , the dramatic event  filmed , which went  viral.  So  eat , joy and  be merry in Bali, but make sure  you  pay  the  bill .