The legendary Australian Jimmy Sharman boxing troupe which toured many parts of the nation was a genteel festival of fisticuffs compared with the bloody ongoing Coalition bikie brawl .
 |
| Sluggo toughs it out . |
When the Golden Gloves wearing champ Malcolm Turnbull was felled by a bloody barrage of under the belt blows from his fancy footwork shadow boxing c(l)obbers , new leader Sluggo Morrison, still punchy, faced the nation and made a familiar prize fighter announcement :" I love yuz all ."
He has kept up this chant ever since, adding a frequent dash of Mums and Dads , throwing in a royal commission , promising to garrotte in public strawberry tamperers , make the Pope happy and made political hay like Donald Trump while the outback and the Great Barrier Reef sizzled.
Argus Tuft Special
Adopting a title fighter stance , Sluggo has kept on repeating this promise of an extensive no holds barred brawl right up the end of the 15 round bare knuckle election knock out . On election night he plans to spring into the ring , in his tattered boxing shorts , proudly displaying the upside down Australian flag in a move to annoy left wing vexillologists . In an exclusive Ring magazine interview Sluggo delivered an American gangster style threat to "moider" his opponent , Electricity Bill , by slipping a Murdoch media horseshoe into each of his boxing gloves and a solar-powered battery up his pea green, consecrated jockstrap , which will make him leap about the square ring like Skippy , making it impossible for Bill to hit him in the pouch with a CFMEU zinger .
 |
| Thumper |
Sluggo posed for a magazine photo , his jaw jutting out , in a way reminiscent of a certain fat controller who got the trains to run on time in downtown Rome , resulting in record crowds at the Colosseum to see Christians eaten by lions . Ring claims the Prime Minister's trusted seconds for the championship brawl will be French Apache dancer and submarine gremlin Christopher " The Fixer" Pyne and union pin up girl Michaela "Knuckles" Cash.
It has been pointed out by the influential Liberal Party house Bible , Ladies Home Journal , that many Liberal women have gone on strike,refusing to knit any more true blue tea cosies and merkins for fund raising fetes . Instead , they intend to take up Thai boxing and repeatedly kick the gizonkas of several of their standover male colleagues in the House of Whacks.
Members of the lightweight , noisy National Party are also punchy , the Wagga Wagga Waffler tipped to be biffed by the pouting Lantana Lasher , an Australian poor imitation of the Louisville Lip who could not fight his way out of a wet paper bag , according to fight fans .
