After an experience in the Darwin Federal Magistrates Court (FMC) , I intend to go armed the next time I attend to counter the bities therein, Your Honour. My weapon of choice will be this wonderful Malaysian rechargable mozzie swatting racquet- a kind of Dirty Harry special when it comes to dangerous household pests , sent to the Little Darwin office by one of our jovial roving reporters in Asia.
While sitting outside the FMC today waiting for a courtroom to open , mosquitoes, moving as fast as V8s , became evident. People swiped at the critters , but they escaped. The previous night, the fascinating French ABC TV show, Miniscule, had centred on the misadventures of a mosquito who flew into a pot of honey and then got stuck to roll of toilet paper , a tablecloth and a lamp shade , so there was a touch of French farce (sans the poor, sad-eyed spider, ants , snails , the cheeky ladybird et al ) to proceedings before the door opened for business .
Many people attending a court are apprehensive and should not have to face the added fear of contracting Ross River and Barmah Forest viruses and Dengue fever because the Flick Man , SC, has not been called in - another sign of belt tightening in judicial circles,such as in NSW, and the Federal Attorney-General’s jurisdiction ?
Once the FMC courtroom opened, a local lawyer took up his position at the bar table , unpacked numerous files; his apprehensive client sat nearby with a family member. Then ZZZZ! A mozzie made its presence known. Without success, I swiped at it. The clerk of the court, in shorts , making him a tasty target for mosquitoes, was having difficulty attempting to make a TV link with far away Canberra , where the mozzies and the Bogong moths were probably either in hibernation or frozen to death.
Are you their Josh? No response –just the view of an empty room . Some comment was made about being able to make contact with man on the moon, but not the Forbidding City. After several attempts,Josh appeared on screen and rearranged the seating in nautical fashion . A hotshot lawyer appeared pushing a lectern on wheels and the show got on the road . Soon after , a person entered the Canberra room holding what could have been a jug of hot toddy, but was waved away . There was a buzz of expectancy as the hearing got underway. It is sincerely hoped that the anklet on the magistrate's associate did not draw the attention of a bloodsucking mozzie to her leg.
