Stunning new look
National Party Leader and Deputy Prime Minister , Warren Truss , appearing for the first time on the
scurrilous ABC series , Mad As Hell.
CANBERRA : The National
Party is undergoing a
major , secret makeover to differentiate itself from
the Liberal Party–the latter’s popularity under Tony Abbott
disappearing faster than a
rabbit being chased by
a ferret down
a burrow. The NP head honcho , Warren Truss , strutted his
dashing new look , above , before Shaun
Micallef . Readers will note the minister looks
like a cuddly critter out
of the Magic
Pudding . He is also sporting a full length Merino coat and a Crimea Russian footie club scarf.
Instead of wearing
a Bob Katter autographed cowboy
hat like NP Minister
for Agriculture and Multi- Grain Numbers , accountant
Barnaby Joyce , Truss has
chosen a jaunty
chapeau similar to that worn
by Robin Hood in Sherwood Forest to
improve his and the party’s public
image .
Jerry
Lewis 111 , spokesman for
the American consulting firm --
Hollywood Hopefuls Recycling
Inc. –is responsible for the NP massive makeover . In an exclusive interview , Lewis , frankly speaking, said a group photo
of the old National Party team looked like a bunch of characters
out of the American
hillbilly series , Ma and
Pa Kettle. The NP did not present as a
bunch of beautiful people
.
Because
there were fewer
people in the bush due to
doughts , lousy prices for
their produce, ruthless banks , rapidly rising costs
, a shortage of farm labour and
hordes of FIFO visiting
politicians with unkept promises trampling the crops , the
National Party had to appeal to
a new niche group of
city slicker voters
– Metrosexuals, cafe latte drinkers ,
penthouse pot growers – otherwise it would be eradicated like
prickly pear .
Dressing like bushies with your sleeves rolled up , red faced and talking in astronomical
numbers, no longer cut any mustard in rapidly
thinning bush communities , he added.
Lewis
revealed that he arranged for the
upswept Warren Truss, carrying a
sandwich from My Kitchen Rules , when he appeared on Mad As Hell because
a market survey showed that the
average man and woman
in a haystack on the land are so oppressed they are avid watchers of the show because they are badly in
need of a pork belly laugh .
The response , in his words, had been incredible , many people in
the nation’s concrete jungles wanted to
join the National Party , dress
like a Truss , and strut about King’s Cross , Sydney , Lygon
Street , Melbourne , Fortitude Valley, Brisbane , and Mitchell Street, Darwin, on the
weekends .
Looking a sharp dude, Truss , above, wore a trendy Spotted Dick tie, instead of a true blue one like Liberals, when he addressed the National Press Club , which resulted in veteran journo Ken Randall being sin binned for a month. This was due to the fact that in answer to a question from Ken , Truss said he would be happy to come back soon and address the club about infrastructure. For some strange reason , several members of the audience groaned and fell to the floor .
Looking a sharp dude, Truss , above, wore a trendy Spotted Dick tie, instead of a true blue one like Liberals, when he addressed the National Press Club , which resulted in veteran journo Ken Randall being sin binned for a month. This was due to the fact that in answer to a question from Ken , Truss said he would be happy to come back soon and address the club about infrastructure. For some strange reason , several members of the audience groaned and fell to the floor .
