DEATH OF A GREAT REPORTER

Information has just come through that  journalist and author (John) Ross Annabell , 9l , died  in   New Zealand on September 7 .  An adventurous   reporter , a great feature  and magazine writer  ,  Ross  worked  in  Australia for some time  . He started the Mount  Isa Mail  , was an early editor of the   Northern  Territory   News   and  was  personally  involved  in the   Territory  uranium boom  of  the l950s, writing  a  book  about  the wild  times  when  fortunes were  made . 

By  Peter Simon

 

 Smuggled  into the   Rum Jungle uranium mine camp , he revealed the poor conditions under which  miners  worked and  lived . At one stage, eager to  become a  uranium   tycoon ,   Ross   went  bush with a Geiger counter  and  found  Annamount , named after  him . The colourful  Maori Mayor of Tennant  Creek  , boxer  and  mining entrepreneur ,  Al McDonald ,  took an option on the  find .  A syndicate  headed by  author  Frank Clune   took an interest in Annamount .   McDonald   travelled to Sydney  where  he called on newspaper  proprietor  Frank  Packer  , later Sir Frank , who had known  Al  from his earlier  boxing days ,  ordered a reporter to write  a story about  McDonald's  latest find ... Annamount.  

 

 Unfortunately, Annamount  was  found  not  to contain much uranium . Ross  left  Darwin for  Sydney on  a motorbike,  a sample of uranium yellow cake in his luggage . In Alice Springs he hitched a ride on a truck which, due to heavy rain,  was forced to detour  and  be driven  at  gunpoint into the  top secret   Woomera  rocket  range  where  he  saw scientists   working  on  Jindivik   pilotless  planes .



 

 I met  Ross  on  the  Rotorua  Post , New   Zealand , where he was a  feature writer  and we shared  a  gold  prospecting  dish, but  we  did not  find  El Dorado, just  grains of  iron  ore . We also clambered  up  and  down  into  the hot crater of  Mount Tarawera  and  went bush walking , Ross in the lead with his Boer War  cut down rifle.  He is pictured above on a deer hunting trip .  More  later about  a  great  reporter, a  true Kiwi do it yourself type  who  taught  journalism  in  New Zealand , was chief reporter on the Wairarapa Times-Age   and  wrote  several   books , even  tried  to  open a  tourist souvenir  market  for  the  rotten  egg  gas  smell  of   volcanic   Rotorua . A funeral service will be held  in Wellington on Monday.

GHOST FLEET INCLUDES ROYAL VISITOR WITH FAMILY PROBLEMS

Even though tied up  just  across the  way from  the   P&O cruise ship Pacific Aria,the  large vehicle  carrier  Cepheus Leader  went  unnoticed by  the  Townsville  media .  Of course ,  the  cruise ship  did  get a  mention by the  media because of   the  cargo  cult  mentality  evident in  so  much  of   North Queensland  reporting.  Our  S(h)ipping  Reporter,  the only one north of  Streaky Bay , who regards much of  Queensland's  media   scene  as  a  Greek tragedy , pointed out that  the car carrier  derived its name   from   Greek  mythology .   Cepheous , king of  Aethiopian , not only had  a  good looking , vain  wife,  but  a   stunning  daughter , Andromeda  . 

 

So beautiful  was the  daughter   that  some  uglies  of   the day , the  Nererds , often regarded as  the Nationals ,  were mighty envious of her  , especially  sea nymphs  and Poseidon, god of the  sea , who  unleashed a  watery like  plague upon  Aethiopian .  An oracle was  consulted by Cepheous  who   came up with what on reflection could be regarded as   a   Liberal  Party  devastating  solution . Obviously a misogynist , the oracle said  flooding would  not stop  until  poor Andromeda  was  tied  to  a rock and  offered  to  a  monster  called  Cetus .     

 According to  our learned  waterfront  roundsman ,  also  an oracle-like person  who often is heard  mutter hard to  understand  sayings close to closing time at  Molly Malone's  Irish  Pub ,  such as the growing  North  Australia  media  plague  will   not end  until  a whole host of  shock jocks, a media   magnate, the Moppet brigade  and  Skynews  are  chained   to   rocks  at  Luna Park  and  devoured  by  ravenous   Hunter  S. Thompson  gila  monsters.  

 

Meanwhile, back  at the  seaside, where  Andromeda is  about  to  be  devoured  by   a   sea  monster .  Perseus  happened  to  be flying  by  with a trophy - the head of  Medusa , who turns   all  who  gaze  upon her into  stone - when he sights    the  poor damsel , nearly  naked  , according to a  famous  painting ,  and is smitten by her  beauty .  The  legend becomes a bit uncertain because  it is claimed Perseus impaled  Cetus  with  a sword  or sickle ( a  Commo  ?)  , or else  gave  it  a  peek  at   Medusa's  bloody  head  and   the  vile creature  turned  into   stone .

A  cargo ship of interest  in  port  that  the  S(h)ipping Reporter  recorded in his notebook  was  Prudencia , she regarded as the allegorical female personification  of  virtue , included on  the  decorations of  the tomb of no less a person   than    Pope Clement ll. Another  troublesome German , he did away with simony , the buying and selling of  ecclesiastical privileges .  It  is not certain  if  he was   murdered  or  died  from  lead  sugar  used  as  medicine .There are a  thousand untold  stories  floating  about  the  Townsville waterfront. 

VICTORY OVER VICTORY FOUNTAIN

At long  last , there has been some  action taken  in respect of the  long neglected  Victory in the Pacific Memorial Fountain  in Townsville , says our S(h)ipping Reporter , the only one  north of   the Great Australian  Bight , who has been hammering  this  disgraceful situation.He sent a signal that  the fountain  is  still  not operating , but has  been  cleaned  out , although there is still broken glass behind it  and  the nearby  bus shelter  is sporting more  graffiti , two drink  containers up  in  the  rafters,  the  surrounding  area  as  grotty as ever .

A repair  which is not   in keeping  with  the  original   component    has been  made to a snapped  off   piece of  the  fountain  in  the  top chamber . Our waterfront  roundsman  claims   it   stands out like a silver  upside down  U-bend .   Magnetic  Island  has a  Canadian  plumber ,  described by a musical master builder  as  an  artist   with   copper tubing ,   who could   fix  the situation  in a flash , if  contacted .  It is evident  that  an  underwater  light  is  missing from  the  top  chamber .  

 

In  the nightclub precinct, the  roving  S(h)ipping  Reporter  noticed  the  Subway  shop  has taken a  dive  , the  old  bank   has   undergone  a  major  makeover , a photo of  which  he  will  provide when  his  camera is fixed ,  and  there was a ship called the  Glorious Fuji  in  port.  He also  is working on  another classic   shipping   story   not   picked   up   by   the   local  media which  is about a poor  damsel  who  was  to  be  sacrificed  to  a   monster  from  the  deep.     

EMPTY EGYPTIAN TOMB , WITCHES STRIP MEN

Changing   Townsville   shopping  scene

A visit  to the  CastleTown  shopping  centre  was  like  a  trip  into the  ancient Valley of the   Kings in  which  the grave  of  Tutankhamen   was  found in 1922 . In   what looked  like a  looted   burial  cave , under the sign  House of    Egypt,   were   two   shop dummies ,  one  a  black , headless  Nubian . 

Further  along  ,  at  what  used to be  a shop   called   WITCHERY MAN  ,  it was noticed  it is now  just trading  as  WITCHERY . What happened to  the  MAN ?  Was it a case of man overboard  with  that  part  of  the   business name ?    Inside were  two   female  staff , no warts visible   on  their  snozzles , no pointy hats, brooms  .  Could  they  in all   fairness   be  considered   real    witches   ?  This brave blogger pushed  his  shopping   trolley  into  WITCHERY , fearful that he might  be  turned  into a toad or  a  newt  ,   and   asked  what  had happened  to  mere  males .  A  friendly witch explained  the  shop  no  longer  offers  clobber for men.

It appears  the  name for  the business   was  originally  WITCHERY ; MAN   was added  later on  to  attract  male customers .  Men,  sooks at heart  , may have been spooked  by  childhood  stories  about wicked  witches ,  did not  rush in to  buy  trendy  tropical  gear . So  now  female fashion only  is  offered .  

Resting after the  encounter with  the  nice, informative   witch ,  this  old blogger sat down  on a bench near Woolies  and  an elderly  lady , with   many teeth missing , plonked   down  next  to me  and  laughingly  assured  me  she  was  not  going to  sit  on  my  lap . Due to my  magnetic  attraction  for women , another  mature  lady  puzzlingly  told  me  I should  grow my  hair  longer !!!   I can only conclude  this  odd  remark was  prompted by a  guy who  paraded  about with   a mass of  dreadlocks, looking like  worn lengths of ship rope ,  against  which  I looked  almost   baldy .      

AUSTRALIAN CELEBRITY DEFIES TWITTERPATED TRUMP ON BORDER

Queensland's top  pin up boy , Larry  the  cussing   Lorikeet , more popular than footballer  Johnathan Thurston ,  has  defiantly  thrown his  support  behind  Mexicans  fleeing into  America  across the   border between the two  countries . In the process he  has   given  the   galah  Donald  Trump  the  finger and feather . Larry flew into the  border  region last week and  offered   a  drink and   a Jimmy Buffett  survival  pack ,which included recipes for his  famous Margaritas  , below ,  to  a  Mexican  woman , a renowned   taco chef , who  had  become caught in  barbed  wire  as she scrambled  through  part of   the  wall , ripping  her slacks  in  the  process .  

Welcome to  America , Land of  the tattered  Stars and Stripes  under  Donaldo the  Drongo .

QUEEN ATTACKED AS BORDER SECURITY FAILS

Despite being girt by  sea  and  heaps of  exponentially  multiplying  books, fairies , cane toads  and  piles of  scattered   notebooks  filled with  illegible scribbles ,   this  island   residence  is  invaded   daily  by  squadrons  of  invaders . As soon  as   dawn peeps over the   sea ,  the  attack begins , causing  this old blogger to  arm himself , run  about  the  ranch  in pyjamas   and dressing  gown  ,  throwing   thongs  and   sandals ,  barking  like a  rabid  dog , imitating a  happy clapper ,  banging   iron  railings...alarming neighbours , causing  real estate  values  to  plummet. 

All this is done  trying to prevent  the many noisy Currawongs, above ,who have  flown  in   from the mainland  and  taken over  the  island,  upsetting   the  Curlew colony , especially our resident  birds ,  one  lot  again  sitting  on  eggs  after  losing  two  chicks . 

Not far away , the   Queen of  the  Jungle  is  in  a  state of almost perpetual  siege   due to Currawongs  swooping down on her back verandah , upending  containers  on  a  table , snatching   food  from   Curlews , Lorikeets   and  other  birds , even    from the beaks of   Crows .  Her  Germanic   Majesty  is  shown  standing guard  over  a  young  Friar Bird   which  she is  feeding  to prevent  Currawongs   from  stealing  the   tucker .

Currawong  and   Kookaburra   confrontation  above  midst  non tasty smalls  on  drying rack. It seems only  a scarecrow  in  the  guise  of   Peter  Dutton  will  save  the  island   from   the   winged   mainland   refugees . 

 

Desert  Rose by  another name -bloody Currawong !



LIBERAL PARTY BULLYING SHOCK

In a brilliant  move  to improve its  tattered , pugnacious   image  , the Liberal  Party   has  hired the  CFMEU   to  teach  its  male members how to   behave like gentlemen    and  scholars  behind  closed  doors. A  mauler   inside  the  Liberal Party  Funk Bunker, Peter  Terminator , admitted  the  party   is  on the nose   with  the  public  over  bullying , threats , standover tactics .


 Drastic action,  he said ,  has to be taken -late at night , up   a dark alley  ,   to sort out  the  complaints of  female   members  and   other shrinking violets  reluctant  to   join   the  Tory  tag  team . Tag  team  coach , Gorgeous "Knuckles" George , reckons     step  over  toe holds   and   Indian  deathlocks   are  really enjoyed  by   female pollies   . However, he does admit  that he got carried away  once  and   ripped  the arms  off  a  promising Liberal  female  politician  , Aunty Jack ,  when she  refused to add her name  to a petition  calling for  a  spill  and  reintroduction of   Footy Show  biffing   in  Question Time , claiming she could not  hold a  biro  in  her  boxing  glove .



Jacked off  Aunty , before being amputated at a party punch up  , with  typical  Queensland Young Liberals, who want to  sell  off   the  ABC  to speed up  the  dumbing  down  of  Australia.

After a  long recovery period  in Western Australia , where she was fitted with artificial  limbs and  100 sets of  pearl earrings , Aunty Jack  had gone on to replace  Peta  Credlin on SkyNews, he added, when she left  for a much needed  transplant at  the  Buderim rough end of the   Big  Pineapple and  Fake  Ginger  Beer  Hospital  in  Queensland .