VEGETATING LNP APPLIES CHICK PEA POULTICE ON BUBBLING BOIL

The  rejected  face of  the Queensland  Liberal National  Party was  evident  yet again  when  the  newly elected leader of  the LNP , Tim Nicholls,  and  the  fresh new  deputy leader, Nanango  MP  Deb   Frecklington,   fronted  the  media for the first time in Brisbane . Nicholls , the  Treasurer in  the  Campbell Newman   Government which suffered a  crushing defeat  at  the   last  election  ,  ousted  Lawrence  Springborg  by a mere  three   votes  in a  second  count , three   votes  behind Springborg in the first round.

At the  short  media  conference , which  Nicholls  seemed  keen to end as soon as possible , because he  said he had a lot of work to  do, Ms Frecklington , a Shadow Minister   for Agriculture , Fisheries and Forestry,  was  able  to  say , between  interruption  from   Nicholls , that  she  and her  husband   farm   livestock and are  also into  chick peas, mung  beans  and  other  crops .

Elected  unopposed  , she  had served as  a  lawyer  in  Kingaroy specialising  in  family and property law before    going  into politics  and being elected in 2012  and 2015.

Then  the  interview was over  before  obvious , lengthy  questions could  be  asked about the  voting, the  well known "festering boil"  within  the LNP .   A follow  up  TV  report indicated  the  two man postule on the Queensland political rump ,   Katter's Australia Party, who fancy themselves  as king makers in  Queensland , were not happy with the outcome as they  had  a  deal  with  Springborg  to form a  minority  government in  the event of  the  ALP government  being   brought   down,  and did not  like Nicholls when he was  in charge of  the  state's kitty. 

 

One of the reasons why the media conference was  so short was not only because   Nicholls  had  to  sort  out a  shadow ministry  before  the Queensland  parliament  resumes on  Monday, but  Turnbull's  nervous   Coalition  crew   did   not  want a long   session  throwing light on  the  squabbles and ill feeling  within the   conservative  ranks   just  as  Malcolm is preparing  to   drive  out to the GG  (if  the vice-regal   flight  does not  get diverted due to bad weather  )   and  get  him to   fire  the  punt   gun   on a  day which will  herald  the mother of  all  elections,  aptly  just happening to  be   Mothers' Day .  


 Indeed, Federal Treasurer   Scott Morrison,  flew into Brisbane  soon after   to spruik the Budget in the seat of Petrie and  said the LNP spill had nothing to do with  the looming  national election , which does not ring true  as Queensland  is  listed  as  one  of  the  battlegrounds  in  the  long  election, the PM  flying to Brisbane  as  soon  as  he  gets  Sir  Peter's okay.  

TROPICAL ISLAND OFFERS EVERYTHING - MAYBE EVEN A KITCHEN SINK

Behind  sandwich boards on  Magnetic Island is a caravan  with every possible  attachment and  odd  household  items  under  the  sun , and then some .Could that be  a  crossed  spoon and  fork  on a bed end on top  ?

SINGAPORE TO SAVE QUEENSLAND FROM ALIEN CREATURES

TRIPPING , a guide to Queensland tourist  spots, includes this gem : "Mackay is one of the  best places to see a platypus in the wild. Take a day trip to Eungella National Park and watch this unique dick-billed mammal splash among the water of  Broken  River."

CANBERRA :  It  has just been revealed that  the real  reason why Singaporean  troops are going to set up  military  bases in Queensland is because the state is being  overrun by millions of   mutated   Four and Twenty  brand  platypi .

CSIRO  spokesman , Richard  Cranium ,  soon to be made redundant  and start up an  innovative sly grog  shop  to  make ends meet,   says the  man-eating  dick- bill explosion  is  due  to the massive pollution of Sunshine State waterways  and aquafers  through mining , dodgy CSG  plant made out of recycled  Lego parts , agricultural  runoff , tree  lopping  , war  games  galore .

As it will be  some  time before  Singapore can send in the cavalry ,  Christopher " The Fixer"   Pyne , who  recently unleashed herpes on  the European carp   plague ,  has  been   parachuted  into  Mackay to  beat back the  swarming  dick-bills .

Our  exclusive photograph shows  him  in his best Adelaide Club  shooting clobber , which includes  knickerbockers ,  plugging unsuspecting  platypi   with a  punt  gun , from a canoe specially  built for him by the Australian Submarine Corporation , on the   Broken  River .

Meanwhile , in London , Sir David Attenborough , who  recently presented the epic TV  series on  the Great Barrier Reef  , is reportedly outraged  that  the  rare platypus  variant is  being  slaughtered, and says he will give  Pyne   the rough end of a  pineapple treatment the next time he is in Australia  .

 

The wonderful  dick-bill, he said , was  a shining  example of Darwin's theory of evolution , the creature changing and  evolving  due to the toxic environment  spreading throughout  the  state .  

ART IN AUSTRALIA IN THE 1950S

An insight into the  understanding  of  art in Australia is revealed in  this  61 year old handbook , published by The Specialty  Press, Melbourne, with subsequent updates . Designed  for   examination   candidates and others , our copy contains the  loosely inserted    Edouard  Manet  painting of Nana , clipped from the British magazine, Lilliput.

Author  Graham Hopwood was an art  teacher,  print maker and  teacher, active in  the  1930s.

Bearing the  penned in name  Maria Jones on the  title page , it contains extensive underling of  text, margin notes,  mostly in pencil ,but some ink , a pasted in handwritten section with  an associated  diagram dealing with colour .

Aboriginal art  received  a  mere   19  lines of  text and   an  illustration of  a stone Aboriginal  Churinga   from  Central Australia .  Illustrated   Australian  artists are Tom Roberts, Sir Arthur  Streeton , Hans Heysen, Elioth Gruner ,Max Meldrum, William Dobell  and  Russell Drysdale.

There  are  handwritten   comments  about   Cezanne  and Van Gogh in margins and  page heads . Well  illustrated,  it  covers  art  in everyday life,  commercial art ,  printing processes , with   a   glossary  and  index .

MADONNA BLOWS IN ON A SUBMARINE AT ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH MAY DAY CELEBRATIONS

Townsville's large, dazzling  May Day / Labour Day march included  a  musical group from   Amnesty  International  who cavorted about playing  tunes on  kalamazoos -We All Live On A Yellow Submarine, Waltzing Matilda  and  other  catchy numbers. Later  on , when  marchers   gathered in  the park on The Strand , several of the Amnesty musicans got up on  stage under a marquee   and   a prancing female member  was  introduced  to the  large, cheering  audience as none other  than  Madonna .

As if this was  not surprise  enough ,  gyrating Madonna  was  joined  by  the  late guitar picking  social  activist  Pete Seeger , a miraculous resurrection. A mighty roar  went up  when it was stated  that Labour Day was being celebrated on the traditional day , not  that  ordained by the Campbell Newman Government which  showed its  disdain for  workers by  moving  it  to October .

A highly detailed  speech  about what  had  gone on at  Queensland Nickel  over the years ,  safety and health  shortcomings , failed to  be reported by the local media .

There was another  mighty roar  when the  ALP  candidate in the Federal seat of  Herbert , Cathy O'Toole , above  ,who had been at the  front of the parade ,  addressed the  gathering and  the call was made to oust the LNP  incumbent ,  Ewen Jones . It is no surprise then that the following   item  has surfaced.
 

It being the  125th anniversary  of  the Queensland  shearers  strikes  which led to the  formation of   the  Labor Party , Queensland  Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk and  former  ALP  Prime Minister  Bob Hawke took part in  celebrations at Barcaldine. Many were  shocked to see  Bob , 86, in a wheelchair .  He stood and sang the workers' anthem Solidarity Forever .

"This is where the great Australian Labor Party started,” he said. “No institution, more than the union movement and Labor Party, have approached what  their contribution has been in shaping the character and quality of the Australia we enjoy today.”

GOD SAID LET THERE BE NITWITS ...

And lo, the  warring  tribes  in  Queensland  put aside their  many razor sharp  weapons made from  the jawbones  of  unfortunate  asses  and    formed  the   Liberal  National Party , and  are  now  involved in a  good old fashioned , head  chopping   leadership   donnybrook .
 

On a stack of Bibles, one of our  Brisbane  correspondents  claims this parable  is true .  It  seems that  during a heated late night  debate in the Queensland  parliament in September last year , a member on the LNP  called   Education Minister  Kate  Jones  "a  nitwit".

That person was named as  Tim Mander , a   former Newman Government  minister ,  Scripture Union  head  and   a  rugby league referee  to  boot .

However , he  refused   to withdraw   the   comment  when told to do so by the Deputy  Speaker,  Mark Furner ,  and   strongly   stated  he had not used  the expression . In one  memorable  exchange,  Mander  was  recorded  as  saying : "I will stand  here  and  state  on  the  Bible I  did not say that word ."

He was backed in this denial by LNP mate  Steve Dickson  . However , when the  matter was  referred  to the Parliamentary Ethics  Committee, and  after listening  to  the recording  and  reading Hansard , Mander  admitted he had  been  wrong , apologised . This colourful event  has  led  to frequent cries of  will  the  Honourable  Member  for  Everton, Mr Mander, swear this on a stack of Bibles  when  he  makes  statements  in  the  House.  

Now  Mander  is  challenging  Lawrence Springborg   for leadership of  the LNP and the intra tribal warfare, like a  real State of Origin biffo ,  has once again  surfaced with a vengeance.  Jawbones  have been  honed , placed at the ready .

The  former  Deputy Leader of the LNP , Jeff Sweeney , who recently said he would leave Queensland politics  and stand for a  Federal seat, then had second thoughts, is being written up as  a  vengeful  key player in "the plot" to unseat  Springborg. And in what  looks like a Tony Abbott  scenario ,  Springborg is polling badly  and complaints about  the running of his office have been regurgitated ,  which   sure   sounds  like  Canberra  before  the  final  slip, slop, slap  spill  which  produced  a  bloody scene , especially in Tony Abbott's inner sanctum . 

 

The  major blood letting   in the LNP  kicks  off  just as Malcolm Turnbull is  trying to sell  the  image  of  Coalition  forces  throughout the nation   as   happy, God fearing  folk  who  know the safe passage through the  threatening  Red  Sea  of  debt .

NEXT: The  Snake Gully  family  influence in  Queensland politics.  

ANGRY BISHOP/ THINGS THAT GO THUD IN TROPICAL NIGHTS / JOHNATHAN THURSTON SAVED / MOUNTAIN CAUGHT SHORT AND MYSTERIOUS MIN MIN LIGHTS

Another overlooked  secret  in  Niki Savva's excellent book   Road to Ruin -How Tony Abbott and Peta Credlin Destroyed  Their Own Government ,  with a fantabulous  follow  up   of  our  own .

( At no charge, except for a small donation to the  Little Darwin staff iron lung , we offer  this   odd  post  to   Savva  for  possible inclusion in her  next  gripping  book   about  Australian  politics. )

On  yon Castle Hill, the dominating outcrop officially slightly  short of being called a mountain , overlooking Townsville , in August 2013 ,  the  trim West Australian Federal  politician Julie Bishop  staged  an amazing   media conference   with  the rotund  Liberal National Party MP  for Herbert,  Ewen Jones,  promising  $650,000 for a soft,  solar powered  street lighting program for Castle Hill . 

 

Morning , noon and night , a  horde  of  people, some with  dogs ,  walk,  ride and  run up  the sealed road to  the summit with its spectacular panoramic views ; there is also a rough path known as the " goat track" which  is  like a  mini Kokoda for  those like this stumbling  blogger .

During the episode Jones  declared  lights  were needed because "darkness comes down with a  thud "... there is no twilight . If you use the top of  Castle Hill as a  kind of  lovers' lane , you  might  not  be worried by  this, on the other hand you might  be a nervous  type and  think it is somebody's dad with  a  shotgun . 

After saying she was delighted to be in Townsville , Ms Bishop went on to give what sounded like a  rolled  gold guarantee that  the  $650,000   would be   paid up  and the  lights would  go  on in the event of an Abbott Government  being  elected.

A troublesome journalist  said the ALP candidate for Herbert ,  Cathy O'Toole , who is standing against  Jones again at the forthcoming  election, had said the cost of the lighting was more like $900,000.

This ,  said  Bishop , was  the  ALP just  having a whinge because the Coalition was   promising the money. No, the reporter  persisted, the ALP had been advised  the cost  would be  higher. 

Jones claimed it was an " airy fairy "  ALP   attack. Bishop repeated her  rock solid  guarantee , the people of Townsville  could trust a Coalition government  to deliver , the  money   committed to  the  project.

THE STADIUM /CONVENTION  CENTRE

As a senior person in an incoming Coalition government , would she support the  need for a  $300million stadium in Townsville, she was  asked. Bishop gave the impression she was  sympathetic to the idea  but  no feasibility study had been produced as yet.

Over in Western Australia,she said, they were seeking to build a new stadium and looking for Federal funding. " There is a precedent for Federal Governments to support the  building of  stadiums in  States  around Australia."
 

In Townsville she went  to see the mighty  Cowboys  Rugby League  team training and had taken a photograph of the star player, Johnathan Thurston ..."he is now my screen saver!" One wonders  what Bishop's current  beau , developer David Panton , thought  after he gained access  to her screen saver and  found this sweaty guy  Thurston .  Just this week  it has been  claimed Panton was the centre of security concerns  because he had been able to peek at confidential documents  while  sitting  next  to  Ms Bishop at  the UN.
 

THOSE  PROMISED  LIGHTS / STADIUM  FUNDS

Here   we are ,  May 2016, and darkness is still falling with a thud  on Castle Hill , the ALP  apparently  right  when it  said  the lighting  system  would  cost much,  much more,  the project  seemingly  canned .

In letterboxes throughout Townsville   Ewen  Jones and  Julie Bishop , through their joint  sermon on  the midget mount ,  are   having  a harsh, probing  light shone  upon  them  and   the  Turnbull Government  as  a  whole , like  rabbits  caught  in  the  headlights of a long distance transport driven by a  spaced  out  truckie .  

And   the  just   delivered  Budget    failed to contain  any allocation for  the Townsville  stadium complex, Bill Shorten having  already  promised  $100million  for  the  project to match the Queensland government.

 

 SAVVA SHINES  LIGHT  ON  FOREIGN MINISTER 

The Road To Ruin  contains  a  fascinating   account of  angry Foreign  Minister  Julie Bishop being  irked at the fact that  she was  back in Townsville   purely to shore  up  PM Tony Abbott's  standing  before the  spill against him. 

 

The  event  announced the half baked  approval  for  international  flights to Bali ,  maybe  New Zealand  later.  As in the  disappearing Castle Hill  lights  event, Ewen Jones  was present.

 

The body language of Abbott and   Bishop  looked strange in media footage .Niki Savva  reveals why ,  page 162. She wrote  Bishop,  the Liberal  Deputy  Leader  had  been " compelled " to attend the Townsville Airport, even though  it had no    direct  relation    to  her portfolio, except  for the word "international" . However , it had been made  clear to her by Peta Credlin,  the PM's Chief of Staff , it would be seen as a  vote of  no confidence  in   the  prime minister if she did not attend the   city of  elusive  Min  Min  Lights.

While the airline flights  to Bali  went ahead, there is  still doubt over who will pay for  the  upgrades needed  for  the basic  building , and it has just been revealed in a Budget aside   that no  new  funds have been  allocated , just confirmation of last year's   $26.2million  over  four years  to establish  a border clearance service in Townsville and   the  Sunshine Coast.