FOSSIL OF WHALE WHICH SWALLOWED JONAH DISCOVERED IN AUSTRALIA ; LOCATION SECRET

Photo by Vallis

HERNANDO'S OTHER HIDEAWAY

Photo by Vallis

PETE STEEDMAN FOR PM

Cometh  the  hour, cometh  the  man . The Australian political  scene  has  been  turned  upside down by the  entry of  the renowned  multi-talented  Pete Steedman who  has  announced  he  wants to  be  Prime Minister  and  that  he will  head  a   new  group called  the  Socially Acceptable  Party  (SAP) . The  shock  news  spread  like a thunderbolt  throughout  political circles. Kevin Rudd , believe it or not, was  speechless, unable to express  himself in Chinese , English , Pidgin  English   or  Swahi . Tony Abbott  snapped  the  cord in  his budgie smugglers , causing them to  plummet lower than  his  popularity  rating in the  polls , also revealing  there  is not   much  meat in  his  policies pouch.

 

There are reports that one of  Steedman’s  longtime fans , Gerard  Henderson , of  the  Sydney  Institute  , broke down  and  sobbed  with  joy when he heard  his  old  comrade is going to sally forth, like Brave Heart ,  from  his leafy estate in the highlands , wearing the  clan tartan , to  lay about  the nation  with  his  claymore to free the  oppressed.   Little Darwin has long  been singing the  praise  of   Steedman , and  now  a  group of influential  and powerful  friends   has  backed him  to  stand as   PM .

 

Already  a  powerful video has been launched,  presenting   Steedman  as  an elder stateman , a man  of  the  people  for  the  people,  who is concerned about women,  skateboard riders, struggling  dolls eyes  and  mothballs  salesmen , vintage car tragics.  The brilliant video  has  been  prepared  by  Australian  News  Network’s Messages on  Hold .  This talented   group  offers  a  rare service –at your  request-  it will  produce  a   video   proving  your  best  friend  is    guilty of  a  heinous  crime. 

 

So there you are ,  dear reader,  the election race has been blown asunder by Steedman ,  a  tearaway  student  newspaper  editor ,  who  nearly ended     Bob  Dylan's life.  The  famous singer, touring Australian in  1966 , heard  of  this  wild  dude  Steedman ,  and  on a dark night knocked on  his  door in Melbourne . Pete  was  expecting   a visit  from some bovver boys , possibly  armed with  baseball  bats  and  heavy artillery   at  the  time , so  was  armed  himself, and  when  someone  announced it  was  Bob Dylan  calling ,  he  knew it must  be  the  mob.  Armed with  an  offensive weapon, Pete  braced himself ,  prepared   to  emerge  like  a  whirling  dervish with  a  scimitar  .   Dylan  was  so, so  lucky not to  lose   his tonsils and  a  few  other   vital parts  . (It  is a complicated story - perhaps explained in  detail at  a  later date  ). Now  Steedman  is   returning   to  the   political scene   like  Richard  the   Lionheart  to  save  the  nation ...God bless Australia ... America , even those annoying  Kiwis .

Steedman  is  shown  above   giving  a  much  friendlier  welcome  to  another famous American-stand  up  comic , Mort   Sahl,  the first entertainer to make the cover of  Time . Born in Canada , the  son of a court reporter , Sahl  based  his comedy on  current  events , strong on politics.  He used newspaper  headlines of  the  day  for  his  monologues  rather  than relying on one  liners and  often  came on  stage carrying a  newspaper , wearing a V-neck sweater . A close friend  of   John F. Kennedy ,  he  upset   President Reagan     by   stating:  “Washington  couldn’t  tell a lie. Nixon couldn’t  tell  the  truth , and  Reagan  couldn’t  tell  the  difference.” President  Reagan “roasted “ Sahl at  a White House  tribute  in front of  many comedians . In  a  follow up  television interview , Sahl   quipped the  Reagans  were  “very,very forgiving.” Sahl was a close friend of  Hugh Hefner , married  a  Playboy Playmate , China Lee , and  inspired Woody Allen, who said he could not have  become  a comedian himself without his  example  which proved a comedian  could succeed  with off –hand  intellectual  material.

MYSTERIOUS CRATER LAKE - MT. HYPIPAMEE NATIONAL PARK

Photo by Vallis

BY JOVES, ITS JEEVES

A  much  needed  touch  of  class  has  been introduced  into  Queensland’s rough and tumble politics  with the  appointment  of  a   Pommie   butler  called  Jeeves  for  Premier Campbell  Newman  .  One  of  our  photographers  caught   Jeeves , right,  nervously  peeping out of  a  window  at  a  large demo  by  angry  workers.  Jeeves  is  a  foundation  member of the Jersey Cow Society  in  Britain , proudly wears its badge on  his coat,  loves English  roast  beef  , but  is willing  to  try  the  whopper  steaks  they  serve  in  Rockhampton .  In an exclusive  interview with   this  blog, Jeeves  said  he will use a  #10 bastard  file to  take  some of the rough edges  off  several of the  LNP members .  He  strongly defended his appointment ,saying that since the government announced the contestability  test  for  the people’s assets  so that they can be flogged  off, staff numbers reduced, it  had  been   flooded  with  interstate and  overseas  groups wanting  to get part of  the action.  Giving this horde  finger  food  , such  as  truffles, caviar  and  bugs, kept  him  flat out, the  Premier  frequently needing  to   be brushed   down , his  tie  straightened , fingernails  checked. 

WHITLAM : The Power, Passion, Photographers

The  ABC TV two-part series  about Prime Minister  Gough Whitlam brought back memories  for this writer  who was present when  the  above photograph was taken showing Gough delivering  a  speech in the packed Darwin  Greek Hall before the fateful  1975  election.  The  NT Administrator , Jock Nelson , had resigned  from this post  to contest  the  election. In the media group  at the right of the stage , a scarf about  her  head, is the prominent  international photojournalist , Penny Tweedie . Though  British , she spent much time in Australia  and had dual nationality . She had covered wars , did splendid shoots of  Australian Aborigines for books  and contributed  to the work of welfare agencies in Africa. Feeling unwanted, she committed  suicide  in 2011, aged 70.

 

The  editor of  ProPhoto , Paul Burrows ,  said   Penny Tweedie’s  suicide   should cause  all  photographers   to stop and think. " Here was  an  immensely  passionate  and  dedicated  photographer with an outstanding body of work to her name who felt she had  no  meaningful place in the world of digital imaging.  According to those who knew her, Penny put her heart and soul into her  photography  and  believed  wholeheartedly  in  the integrity of  photojournalism and its capacity to tell stories powerfully

 Graham  McCarter,  who  knew  Penny from  his college days back in the early 1960s, was quoted  as  saying , “I think it would have been very  hard  for  her to accept that she wasn’t wanted.  The thing I most remember about  her  was  her  amazing obsession with  photography and so, once things began to change – and  all the  people she’d worked with moved  on  to be  replaced  by  people  who  didn’t  want  what  she  did – that obsession became something of  a  two-edged sword. I can see how the honesty of photography coming into question would have upset her greatly.”   Also covered  in ProPhoto  at the same  time  was the   death  of Australian   photographer, Jeff Carter, who  also suicided after the return of cancer.  Carter’s contribution to  Australian documentary photography had  been  quickly recognised with an exhibition  at  the  State Library of  NSW.

LATERAL THINKING SOLVES UNIVERSITY LEAN CUISINE CUTS

 

Hungry turkey, nicknamed Joe Hockey, chasing emeritus professor on  a walking  stick  for his  Chiko  roll.
 

A  cash  strapped  Australian university  has  devised  brilliant ways  to  overcome  the   problem of  reduced  Federal  funding – regular  scrub  turkey  raffles  and  sly grog  running .  Leafy  James   Cook  University , Townsville ,  has  more  marauding  scrub  turkeys  on  campus   than  birds  in  an  Alfred  Hitchcock  horror movie . The   aggressive turkeys  grab paper  bags  containing  sandwiches  from  students,  relentlessly  chase fleeing  sausage rolls  ,  fight over  crumbs and  are  believed   to have   eaten    slow  moving  students  and  ones  who  have a  quick kip on the  grass after  a   late night  in  the  Flinders Street     nightclub  precinct.   Several  long - haired students   have  not  been  seen  in  class  for weeks  and  it  is  thought  they  were   waylaid   by   a  gang of  turkeys  and  pecked  to  pieces, their skeletons ending  up   in  the  School of  Medicine as cheap  teaching  aids .   

Other   missing  students  may   b e  stumbling  about  on  Magnetic  Island  after  a  full moon party .  The  uni  senate  has  muscled  in on  the  huge  home brew  society  started  by  an enterprising  student  and  slapped   a  tax on  the  vast quantities  of moonshine  it  produces.  Brandishing  a tommy gun ,   Eliot  Ness  and  The Untouchables  are  certain to raid the  university in the near  future . Meanwhile , scrub  turkey  raffles  are  proving  more  popular  than  regular  pub  chook   raffles  and   SBS  is  planning to  run  a 10-part    prime time series- 101 Ways to Cook  a   Scrub Turkey and   end  up   a  Doctor  of   Philosophy .