QANTAS UNVEILS NEW BUSINESS PLAN

WOKS AROUND THE CROCS

Three succulent Chinese high rollers , missing from the Casino , are feared gobbled up by FERAL WOKS which have invaded all city beaches. Last week a party of nuns sunbaking on Mindil Beach was chased by prowling woks . The nuns , members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Melbourne , had come to Darwin on R and R to thaw out after the terrible southern winter. In a split second, a marauding wok turned one of the sisters into The Frying Nun, but seeing it was a Friday she could not be eaten by nearby Catholic longgrassers.

In another terrifying attack, Fannie Bay socialite , Gina Prunepuss, had a narrow escape while taking her pet bag of stir fry , affectionately called Quickie, for an early morning walk when it was pounced upon by a voracious wok hiding in the sand. Obviously lubricated with pure virgin olive oil, the flaming wok jounced across the dunes at great speed , grabbed the defenceless bag, only half defrosted, thus unable to run very fast , and tossed it into its cruel metallic maw .

A solid citizen , but recently signed up for a Jenny Craig weight loss plan , Prunepuss dropped her stir fry poo bag and scoop . She ran screaming up the beach , calling for help. Passing rocksitter, film star , solar-powered photographer and international ice –hockey superstar , Bazza Ledwidge , OA, IOU, BYO, a renowned rescuer of damsels who cannot stand the heat in the kitchen, attempted to snatch the yelping bag of tucker from the wicked wok . The crazed wok retaliated with razor sharp teeth- like Hannibal Lester- and brave Bazza is now , sadly, “Legless” Ledwidge. Crocodiles in the Darwin area have vamoosed due to the wok invasion , and head ranger Tommy Nichols has gone on a well deserved holiday while he still has most of his fingers.

VIDEO YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE

GetUp! has just posted a fascinating video of a private meeting where climate skeptic Lord Monckton outlined plans for the mining industry to mount a media raid in Australia . In alerting the nation to what is afoot, GetUp! says:

This week mining billionaire Gina Rinehart became the largest shareholder in Fairfax, having already bought a stake in Channel Ten. But this new video reveals this move is bigger than one woman’s ambition – it’s part of a coordinated and very deliberate strategy, with climate skeptic ‘Lord’ Monckton advising a room full of mining executives on how the industry must gain control of Australia's media.See http://www.getup.org.au/minersmediaplan

GetUP! continued: Gina could really just be the tip of the iceberg. Thirty six hours ago fellow billionaire mining magnate and the Liberal Party’s biggest donor, Clive Palmer, flippantly said that he loved the idea of following Rinehart's lead, telling Lateline: “That looks attractive, Fairfax, doesn't it? Fairfax looks very exciting. You could have an east-west play with Fairfax. Gina should come from the west and buy 15 per cent and we could buy 30 per cent from the eastern side of Australia and really get the place humming again.”

In other media news, The Global Mail, headed by Monica Attard, will be launched on Monday. (See earlier post in Little Darwin).

MAYOR IN COURT BATTLE

A copy of Douglas Lockwood’s book THE FRONT DOOR –Darwin,1869-1969,Rigby, 1960s, is being offered for $50 in a Townsville op shop . It is a presentation copy from Darwin Mayor, Lucius Darcy ("Bill") Richardson, who became the first city father after local government was re-established in 1957 ; Richardson Park, the NT Rugby League ground is also named after him . Surprisingly, a note in the book says the "catalogue price" is $65. Richardson was involved in a 1959 Supreme Court case over who was entitled to be the mayor of Darwin . Mr Justice Kriewaldt was asked to declare if Richardson was eligible to be mayor and that a declaration be made that Harold Cooper, of Nightcliff , had been wrongly declared to that position. The case hinged on whether or not Richardson, a builder , held ratable land .With the mayoral election campaign underway right now, the book is an interesting link with the past .

DARWIN "DOCTOR "WAS ACTUALLY BARON

During his fabulous life , diver Carl Atkinson doctored many things , but he was never a medico.The ABC breakfast show wrongly called him Dr Atkinson of Doctor's Gully, implying he had uttered the Hippocratic Oath and that Darwin's fish feeding tourist attraction spot is therefore named after him. Carl , however, ran the only recompression chamber in the north at Doctor's Gully and saved the lives of many pearl divers afflicted by the bends. Reputed to have mixed it with Errol Flynn in New Guinea , he also bought the wartime wrecks in the harbour, beat up at gunpoint southern thugs who tried to take them from him , had a tree which grew through the roof of his bedroom in his shack, from which it was said he , like Tarzan ,would swing and beat his chest after a conquest. A close friend of NT News editor , Jim Bowditch, Carl's engineering and mechanical skills kept the clapped out press at the newspaper running when it was in the old Tin Bank, Smith Street. Journalist /author Keith Willey wrote about Atkinson in Eaters of the Lotus , Jacaranda Press, 1964, dubbing him the Baron of Doctor's Gully . Doctor's Gully derives its name from the early days of settlement . Carl suffered a stroke and Bowditch later caught up with him in Queensland. Both outstanding men will be the subject of a special feature soon to be posted in Little Darwin ... By Peter Simon

GLOBAL MAIL IS GOOD NEWS STORY

At a time when PM Julia Gillard has urged journalists not to "write crap, " the nation knee -deep in excreta which fraudulently poses as "news", a welcome development in the Australian media scene will be the launch in February of GLOBAL MAIL , an online venture designed to produce public interest journalism. Backed by internet entrepreneur and philanthropist,Graeme Wood , its editor- in- chief will be former ABC journalist , Monica Attard, winner of five Walkley Awards Attard also hosted the ABC's Media Watch for two years.

Attard has attracted former ABC colleagues Ellen Fanning and Stephen Crittenden to the team . Another interesting member is Mike Bowers , former Sydney Morning Herald chief photographer, presenter of the entertaining TALKING PICTURES weekly round up of political pix on the popular ABC’s INSIDERS . Wood has guaranteed Global Mail for five years for up to $20million , saying he is worried by the decline of good journalism. He donated $1.6 million to the Greens before the last federal election , the largest individual political donation in Australian history. He also gave $15million to set up the Global Change Institute think tank at the University of Queensland. The funding model of Global Mail is based on Pulitzer Prize –winning US website propublica.org which kicked off in 2007 with a $30million gift from billionaire philanthropists Herb and Marion Sandler. Global Mail , with a yearly budget of $3million, will have a staff of 17 and provide investigation , analysis and colour , updated each day.

It already has five foreign correspondents,including Wood’s stepson, Nick Olle, son of the late ABC journalist , Andrew Olle , seen on assignment in Darwin, once when the ABC management refused to allow him to talk on the "illegal" radio with East Timor. Global Mail will not charge readers , not sell ads. Updates will be run in Little Darwin.

PUZZLING MASONIC HOMES LIGHTS ISSUE

God said let there be light -and there was light . But it is doubtful if He meant that there should be something like 20 halogen downlights pumping out heat in each of the Masonic Homes villas at the Tiwi Gardens retirement village. There seem to be more halogen downlights in the village than in all those apartments tarted up in the highly popular reality TV series, The Block.

Halogen Lights over stoves in the units were so hot that steam could be seen rising off hands on which there was moisture. Imagine the heat being pumped out in the ceilings , surely of some concern? Google halogen down lights and there is talk of them being not only damaging to the environment and expensive to runbut allegedly linked to house fires during the disastrous national batts scheme .

Installing large numbers of lights which pump out heat seems inappropriate for the tropics. Indeed, there is a body of opinion in Darwin that halogen lights are likely to explode in electrical storms. A fire in the residential section of Kormilda College involved a halogen downlight .

The Masonic Homes nursing home at Tiwi Gardens experienced a lengthy period when expensive night safety lights were blowing with great frequency. Nothing was said publicly about this and it has never been stated what caused the problem , how much it cost to rectify . From time to time , the fire brigade is called to the nursing home after alarms are triggered , the latest last week .

In the villas , after many months of strange events involving people clambering inside the ceilings, shifting batts about, a report that things had been seen which “ were not right”, somebody else climbed into ceilings and took quick photographs , Masonic Homes ( for Residential Care/Retirement Living/ Community Care ) issued a bulletin to all residents on January 3.

Under the heading LIGHT REPLACEMENT, it said : PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT FAITH CONSTRUCTIONS WILL BE UNDERTAKING A DOWN LIGHT REPLACEMENT PROGRAM COMMENCING TUESDAY 10th JANUARY . THERE WILL BE A POWER OUTAGE OF APPROXIMATELY 2 HOURS WHILST WORK IS UNDERTAKEN IN YOUR UNIT . It went on to say five units a day would be worked on. Questions or queries could be directed to Cathy Orr on 8922 6600.

Word went about the villas that the halogen lights were going to be replaced by LED lights at the direction of “SAFETY” authoritie . Then on January 16, a contradictory notice , headed VILLA DOWN LIGHTS was issued . it said:

“Thank you for your patience and cooperation with this project. We have now had THREE independent contractors look at this issue and advise us on the best solution. Heat hoods , or down light shrouds as they are commonly known, are currently being fitted to all villas. The original electrician (not mentioned by name ) recommended that the existing down lights be changed from dichroic halogen down lights to compact fluorescents . Unfortunately this is only a bandaid fix and will not stop future replacement globes reverting back to the old dichroic lamps .

“Advice received from the down light manufacturer on installing correct heat hoods and removing loose insulation away from the down lights will effectively dissipate any excess heat.

“This is in accordance with the requirements of the AS3000 wiring rules and meets the applicable AS3000 standards.

“DURING THE COURSE OF THE WORKS ANY NON COMPLIANT OR UNSAFE CABLING IS ALSO BEING RECTIFIED .” Further details and clarification could be obtained from Dave Moss and Cathy Orr on 8922 6600.

Tradesmen who turned up to insert the hoods were not from the biblical sounding FAITH CLOUD , took far less than an hour to do the work , no power was cut off .During discussions , it was said that the original contractor had " refused to come back " to Masonic Homes. Another fascinating comment was that there were so many downlights in villas that a "young apprentice" must have been instructed to cut them in to gain experience .

So now , with the hoods on, the lights still pump heat down into the villas, built with Federal and NT government financial contributions . The contradictory notices sent out by Masonic Homes raise many questions . For example, how come there might be any "non compliant or unsafe cabling" in the roof of a fairly new project ? Was there an external audit of the wiring , or was it left up to self certification? How do fluorescent globes magically revert back to dichroics? Were any compliance checks made of any work carried out during construction of the 34 villas? Is this hood insertion an el cheapo way of partially dealing with the situation ? There are other questions that a probing reporter could ask.

The ABC was made aware of the situation on several occasions , and once it discovers how Territorians cope with the loss of a pet goldfish it will almost certainly shine the spotlight on retirement villages. The Henderson Government was also made aware of the lighting situation and other matters of concern at Tiwi Gardens ,and it was suggested the MINISTER FOR THE AGEING ,Rob Knight, should call for a report into the design of and provision of other features in NT retirement villages. So far there has not been any sign of light or action at the end of the ministerial tunnel . However, in his capacity as YOUTH MINISTER , just this week , Knight, recently also rerouted into the Attorney-General possie , posed for a media photo opportunity on squash courts. It is doubtful that there are any squash players in retirement villages , but the occupants sure as hell know how to vote.