PM'S CRANIUM IN SENSATIONAL NORTH QUEENSLAND ELECTION SHOCK

Shipping Reporter Scoop 

The latest  outrage on Magnetic Island's  mystery  mermaid is the placing of  what appears to be  Scott Morrison's pop-eyed  head  on   her  poor  decapitated  and  armless  body , as  this exclusive  photograph reveals. 

Sitting up on a rock at the entrance to the island , ScoMo , sporting a  tail ,looks all  the world like a beguiling Rhine siren who lures  sailors and silly voters to  their  doom .

The  following  full frontal view will probably  excite  desperate , boofheaded  National Party  yokels , as  well  as United  Australia  Party  lost souls -Craig Kelly as PM !!!!!!!!! God alone knows what  attracts jokers  to   PHON.                                     .     

A member of the PM's personal staff , who refused to be named , said  the  PM  owns a  goldfish , which is kept in  a bowl  in  the cubby house he built , and  is  also  very sympathetic  towards mermaids  as  they listen attentatively to his campaign spiel, which  includes  much  tasty  codswallop   and   repeated   raw   prawn   attacks  on   the   ALP . 

Meanwhile , in another  piscatorial  election development ,  the  Mad as Hell  sea monster, the Kraken , recovering from  a bad touch of    bleaching  on the Great Barrier Reef, has emerged  from the Shaun Micallef all  singing all dancing sanatorium , wearing  an It's time ! T-shirt  , urging all  right thinking  Australians, a rapidly diminishing commodity , to  vote  ALP  and help him  suck  down  all  of  Putin's warships .