Warning to maiden aunts : This is the latest full frontal photograph of beached former Queensland Liberal Leader - Sir Thomas Hiley - on the foreshore at Picnic Bay, Magnetic Island , Queensland .
Actually, it is a longboat , off a dredge , named after Sir Thomas, filled with rainwater , tadpoles, rubbish , unseemly shapes and odd floating objects . In better days , Sir Thomas was the Sunshine State's Treasurer when there was a border check between Queensland and NSW to stop them thar southerners coming in.
It is difficult for a fair and always balanced on the brink blog such as Little Darwin not to be concerned about the knight's exposure.
Our Shipping Reporter , the only one north of Freshwater , regularly visits Sir Thomas in the office coracle to see if the Liberal Party has come to his aid , baled him out , arranged for him to be moved under cover . Always , the answer is, no .
He says it is a wonder Buckingham Palace has not sent a rocket to the sober Governor-General of Australia over the Liberal Party's abject failure to protect a knight of the realm, once tapped on the shoulder with a rusty broadsword from the Tower of London .
The Shipping Reporter, never likely to be shortlisted for a knighthood , took the photograph at the top of this story in the hope that it will embarrass the Libs to take action . Floating about in the vessel was a takeaway food container, lolly wrappers, a swagman's loincloth .
At the bow of the boat, above, there appeared to be a busy Canadian Beaver , which probably has constructed a masonic lodge underwater . Of course, it could have been a Platypus , but one caught short in the bill department . Near the beaver was a rather rude - looking metal object.
The Magnetic Island Moral Rearmament Society (MIMRS) is so offended by the knight's exposure that it has called for a modesty blanket to be placed over his arthritic body . It has also called on ScoMo from Marketing and Malarkey Central to come to the rescue of Sir Thomas. MIMRS president , Sabrina Whitehead , commended our waterfront roundsman for repeatedly drawing attention to the plight of Sir Tom.
The Townsville media , she added, deserved to be keelhauled weekly for failing to pick up his lead.
The Townsville media , she added, deserved to be keelhauled weekly for failing to pick up his lead.
Meanwhile, the following Shipping Reporter exclusive photo reveals how Sir Thomas and a beached One Nation smack , to be used by the Liberal National Party of Queensland during the forthcoming state election, a kind of ship of fools, are threatened by pounding waves as a cyclone forms off the coast .