The overworked AFP, university professors
and civic leaders in the City of Churches are appalled at
Education Minister Christopher Pyne’s
claim that he is only too happy to teach protesters how to
set the world
on fire . He made
this inflammatory statement after demonstrators across
the nation burnt him in
effigy . Scoffing at the burnings , pouting Prefect
Pyne said he
was prepared to make a YouTube video to teach the revolting masses how to reduce him to ashes . More cardboard and rag were
needed , he advised, sounding like a true blue pyromaniac with a similar coloured Adelaide Club tie , for a bumper bonfire. As a result of this statement , the Adelaide Cold Case
Fire Investigation Squad , which operates out of the basement
under the smelly pie floater
van , is sifting through the ashes of numerous unsolved
arson cases going back to the days when Pyne went
to Adelaide Uni . Pimply- faced right wing university
students at that time were suspected
of many fires , including the torching of Popeye’s spinach patch and incineration of Don
Dunstan’s pre-loved pink shorts after they were stolen by a notorious Tory clothesline snowdropper . Firemen throughout the nation are bracing themselves for the worst ever summer as voters turn up the heat on the Keystone Coalition. NEWSFLASH: Myth Busters invite Pyne to quit Team Australia , join their pyrotechnics panel.