The seven nuclear power plants that the Coalion plans to build in Australia if elected will have cooling towers designed to look like friendly, giant dung beetles to lull surrounding communities into a sense of security , according to multi - award winning journalist , Argus Tuft.
Tuft bases this scoop on a radio-active leak from the Peter Dutton accident prone , lead-lined campaign bunker
He says he was informed the unusual whopper towers - 20 storeys high- were inspired by the popular Doug the Dung Beetle sculpture , above, made from recycled parts including old water sprinklers , in Townsville, created by Cameron Rushton.
The attractive piece of public art , in Anderson Botanic Gardens , is the centre of a display and walkway which urges people to save water and the environment , which would be part of the nuclear reactor water tower proposal.
The Coalition has had a long connection with dung and beetles. A former Liberal Prime Minister, the late Malcolm Fraser, nicknamed The Crazy Grazier, tried to establish a dung beetle colony on his family farm , Nareen .
And it is even whispered the real reason National MP Barnaby Joyce landed on his back in Canberra was due to the fact that he slipped over while stomping on a colony of hungry dung beetles feeding on scraps from the parliament house members' dining room , not because of his medication and jungle juice.
It was thought politically unwise for the Coalition to reveal he had danced on cute , patriotic , hard- working dung beetles .
It is very significant that the Coalition has not held an election campaign rally at any of the seven proposed nuclear plant sights to see what the local feeling is about them.
A Peter Dutton press conference in New South Wales was nuked by an anti-nuclear power demonstration , captured on television , forcing him and campaign advancer Fred Chernobyl to flee to another site.
The attitude to nuclear power is clear in the Northern Territory .
It was even said the beetles were kept so busy burying Donald's dung , they developed muscles like Arnie Schwarzenegger in his prime .
Now the poor little critters are once again flat out 24 seven .
NOTE : Argus Tuft declares this is definitely not a fake news report produced with the aid of his limited or artificial intelligence.
(Coalition. Nuclear. Dung.)
