CANBERRA : Leaked documents reveal that the Coalition has drawn up a fiendish plan to bombard refugee boats with repulsive cupcakes made to Julie Bishop’s Brownie recipe. In the event that the Coalition wins the election bake off competition , it will launch a squadron of drones armed with tasteless cupcakes to overfly Indonesian ports. Any vessels deemed to be carrying refugees will be showered with Bishop’s dreaded cupcakes, photos of her terrible death stare and sloppy National Party tripe. The use of cupcakes is rightly banned under the Geneva Convention.
Gimlet-eyed Deputy Opposition Leader , Julie Bishop, glared at Little Darwin’s Kitchen Correspondent and office glutton , Fatty Finn, when he questioned her about the devilish drone plan. After hitting him in the face with a shaving cream sponge, she dashed off to attend secret talks about the low standing of Tony Abbott in polls . Flummoxed Finn exclusively reports that the Mad Monk has been advised against doing his frequent Lance Armstrong impersonations, now on a romantic bicycle built for two to impress female voters , as he might be hit by a Bondi bus driven by Malcolm Turnbull as he does wheelies around the eastern suburbs .
